


Sweet Oblivion

by imessedupmylastone



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Artist Steve Rogers, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Christmas, Clint is the ideal boyfriend?, Clints an ass but we love him, Fake/Pretend Relationship, I'm writing all of this at work, Just an excuse for me to write this cute shit, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pining, Slow Build, bucky has a coffee addiction, bucky is a softie, chef bucky, no one dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2020-02-29 18:02:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18783328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imessedupmylastone/pseuds/imessedupmylastone
Summary: Cooking was all that mattered to Bucky, and he was determined to make his junior year of college the next step towards his future. The only problem was when his professor says that he's missing something, he isn't really sure what it is.Art was all that mattered to Steve, and he was getting ready to make a painting for a large opening at his school. The only problem was he couldn't find the inspiration that really made the art stand out.Bucky and Steve met thanks to a little place called Rowdy's. The only problem was Steve was in Bucky's spot.





	1. Un

**Author's Note:**

> So my Bucky in this is based strongly around 2013 Disney Expo Sebastian. If you haven't seen it, it's a gift. 
> 
> Also a quick shout out to Dani and Corrie for getting me into this fandom and ruining my life a little more. Love you guys.

It was still jarring after two years to still see so many people on campus, or at least it was to Bucky. He’d been here all but a few hours and had already resorted to hiding inside his new room, putting his cooking equipment away and trying to avoid the masses of people. If he could afford it, he would have moved off to his own apartment, but even his roommate figured it would be smarter to just save up while they could. He wasn’t exactly fond of people everywhere on campus, but it was better than renting a place before he could really afford it. So, he decided that hiding up in his room with his sister Rebecca was the next best move. She’d offered to help him move his stuff in, and he promised to take her for lunch just as soon as Sam was able to get away from his family for the afternoon. 

Bucky and Rebecca had drove together, making the trip all the way from New York to Colorado in Bucky’s old car. It wasn’t exactly the most convenient way to move his stuff, but it meant they would at least get to hang out one last time before she flew back home for her junior year of high school. His parents weren’t the biggest fans of their road trip idea, but somehow the two of them had talked their way into getting the go-ahead. Sam’s parents on the other hand chose to drive with him from Montana for check-in weekend and hadn’t left him alone since. It was only as Rebecca started to doze off on Bucky’s bed that Sam finally entered their room, looking frazzled. 

“Were there so many people last year?” 

“Yeah,” Bucky smiled, “I don’t know where they hide during the school year, but they’re everywhere. You were too busy getting stuck on the side of the road to see the rush last year though.” Sam scrunched up his face, distantly remembering a time when he got stranded with his parents just off the boarder of Colorado. 

“Well I’m free now, and I believe we were promised food?” Almost on command, Rebecca sat up and smiled. “I think we deserve one last dinner at Rowdy’s before you force me to eat your weird class projects for the rest of the year.” 

“Hey,” Bucky threatened, holding a pan in his hand and swinging it around like he could hurt someone if he tried. “There will always be time for Rowdy’s. Plus, I won’t always make you eat class food. I’ll cook you other things too.” Bucky was almost buzzing with the excitement to not only jump back into cooking classes, but to really perfect his skills. There’d been a kitchen in their dorm building last year, but it wasn’t available most of the time. This year, they’d finally scored a spot in one of the on-campus apartment buildings, meaning Bucky could cook as often as he wanted. 

As much as Bucky loved spending all his time in the kitchen though, Rowdy’s was a place he could relax. Freshman year, him and Sam had found it by accident while looking for a coffee shop and fell in love with the place. It was sort of hidden and was on the second floor of a shop. It was family run, and never had more than two groups of people in it at once, but it tasted like home. Something about the food just stood out, and the two had been coming back ever since. 

Even now, on move in day, there was no more than one other girl in the small place, leaning against a counter while she waited for her food. It was perfectly calm, and therefore probably Bucky’s favorite place in the whole city. Rebecca looked almost buzzing with excitement as they walked in. She’d heard a lot about their little place, but Bucky had decided that he would only take her when it was just the few of them. He wanted to share this place with his favorite people; his place. 

“Oh my god it smells so good in here,” Becca mumbled under her breath, grabbing on to Bucky’s arm as she looked around. “You’ve been hiding this from me for two years?” Lined up on the walls by the windows were covered in pages of a manuscript for some play Bucky had never heard about. The other walls were decorated with black and white photographs and records, and a soft tune from some European country drifted softly over the speakers in the ceiling. 

“You weren’t ready yet,” Sam says very seriously to her. 

“That good?” Her eyes go wide, and Bucky must bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

“That good.” 

“I feel like I’m entering a cult.” 

“Oh,” Sam hushes his voice, “you are, but it’s very elite. You’re being accepted as one of the chosen few. And by chosen few I mean us three.” All three of them break out into a grin at this one, and Bucky can’t help but feel like he missed his best friend like crazy. Sam and he had met Freshman year at an event their RA had dragged them to in which both wound up screaming at each other over Mario Kart. The argument lasted almost two hours (during which everyone else left the event) and when it ended, they had a new unspoken bond. Ever since then, they’d spoken pretty much daily, and made the decision to room together since. 

“Finally,” Becca pumps her fist, “part of the chosen ones at last.” She stands up straighter and mimes holding an award in her hands, “I’d like to thank my brother Bucky, and cult co-founder Sam for this amazing opportunity. I can’t wait to eat here every time I visit.” The three laughs, taking a seat in their own table that they’d been sitting at since their first time coming here. It was a spot by the biggest window, looking out over the mountains. 

 

-

 

Steve had been no stranger to the crowds of people that came with getting set up every year. What he wasn’t really expecting was getting roped into handing out flyers with Clint for an art expose that wasn’t even happening for another five months. He’d made the mistake of arriving earlier than everyone else, and he made the even bigger mistake of telling Clint that he got all his stuff put away already. Clint may have been his roommate, but he hadn’t been there when Steve arrived. It was only after Steve messaged him that Clint said they needed to meet up ASAP. Clint had said he had some big news to tell him, but so far, all he’d seen was posters and masses of people. 

The Atmosphere Expose was this year’s largest art competition, which took forever to get a spot in. Steve had been trying to get his paintings in for the last two years, and every time he’d been denied. This year was supposed to be even nicer than the last few, and Steve already had a few ideas of how he could get into the competition. It seemed almost cruel that he was handing out posters for it. Clint, the bastard, had landed a job at the gallery that held it each year, and continued to tell Steve how beautiful each showing was. 

“Remind me why I’m here again?” Steve grumbled, handing another flyer to a Freshman walking by. 

“Because you want to hear what the surprise is,” Clint shrugged. “I was seeing how long I could get you to help me hand these out before you asked about it.” Steve reached over and flicked the side of Clint’s head. 

“Don’t abuse him, that’s my job,” a voice behind them spoke. Steve turned to see Natasha, sunglasses on, holding a coffee and a stack of flyers in her hands. Steve couldn’t help but grin as Natasha pulled him into a hug before she went to give Clint a quick kiss. 

“Can we tell him?” Clint smiled, a hint of mischievousness in his smile. “I stalled as long as I could, but I think we’re just being cruel at this point.” 

“You didn’t tell him?” Natasha slapped Clint’s arm. “You even have him handing out posters!” by this point Clint was laughing.

“That’s why it’s funny!” 

“Stop being an ass!” She yelled, slapping his arm again. At this point some of the passing students were giving them looks out of the corner of their eyes. 

“Ok, ok,” Clint giggled, “Steve you’re not allowed to pass out on us. I may have pulled a few strings and got you a spot in this year’s gallery. I showed your work to some higher-ups and they really think you’d fit this year. I’ll take my hug now.” Clint held out his arms, and for a moment Steve forgot how to breath. He was too busy thinking about the fact that he has the best friends in the world, and he was actually in the gallery show. With that in mind, he practically crushed Clint in a hug. 

“Thank you,” he managed to get out, not caring any more if people were giving them weird looks. “You’re the best and I love you.”

“Hear that?!” Clint screamed at Natasha, “He loves me! I can get married to Steve now instead!” Steve pulled back at lightening speed, looking from Clint to Natasha, back to Clint. 

“You’re engaged?” He thought his face was going to start cramping with how hard he was smiling. Natasha raised up her hand, revealing a little diamond ring on it, and it was time for Steve to pull her into a hug. “Why didn’t you guys tell me?”

“I was planning on it, but Clint wanted to surprise you in person. It’s not too late to turn back though.” She laughed, but despite her tease, she easily fell next to Clint’s side. Both of them had the same stupid grin on their face, and Steve couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of jealousy. He loved both of his friends like crazy, but they were so close that it sometimes felt like he was an outsider looking in on their relationship. They’d never make him feel that way on purpose, but it still happened on occasion. 

“I’m still really happy for you guys. We should celebrate. Tonight?” Both of them nodded and Natasha pulled out her phone to start texting a few people about it. If there was one thing that Clint could do right at every time, it was partying. He’d become a bit of a legend on campus for his ability to do ridiculous things without injury while intoxicated, much to Natasha’s dislike. 

“I’m so ready to get wasted again,” Clint laughed, only to catch the eye of a mother walking with her new student, “I mean… I can’t wait to get wasted on life! College is fun! Stay sober kids, and study hard!” The woman shook her head, and Steve patted his hand on Clint’s shoulder.

“Nice save.” 

“It’s not like that kid isn’t going to get just as wasted the moment she leaves. She should know what he’s getting into.” He shrugged, passing another flyer out to another student walking past. 

“Got one!” Natasha grinned, holding up her phone. “Three blocks down, some guy named Thor is holding a kickback. We can just walk from the dorms. I’ll get ahold of everyone and invite them?” She looked to Steve, and he knew what she was referring to. It was only a month ago that him and Peggy had ended things between them. She was part of the group, but it was nice to know that Clint and Natasha would always be on his side.

“It’s fine,” Steve shrugged. “It’s over between us, but we’re still friends. I’ll be fine.” Natasha nodded, but still hesitated before she started typing on her phone again. Steve felt his pocket vibrate, and he knew she messaged their group chat. It’d been dead ever since things got awkward between Steve and Peggy, but he was determined to not let it split up the friend group. 

“Stevie, my boy,” Clint smiled, bumping into his side to get his attention, “I’m going to get you so unbelievably drunk tonight.”

 

-

 

“You’re still going to take me to the airport tomorrow?” Becca asked as she hugged Bucky a little tighter outside of her hotel. When she pulled back, he noticed some tears on her cheeks, and his heart broke. Sure, Bucky had two other siblings, Amy and Ben, but him and Becca, had always been the closest, which probably had to do with her being the oldest. It broke his heart to have to leave her every time he did. He thought he was going to die without her when he first came to school, but he told himself it was for the best. He needed to get away from the city, focus on his cooking, and he needed to clear his head. He loved New York, but it was always so much at once. Here he could breathe. 

“Of course,” he smiled, wiping away the tears on her cheeks, “but you better set your alarm for an hour early, because I plan on taking you to breakfast first.” He pulled back fully now, forcing a smile onto his face and ignoring the fact that his heart was sinking fast. “Now go get some rest!” 

“Better be good food!” Becca yelled as he walked back towards his car. 

“Only the best for you!” Bucky screamed back. Finally, a small smile appeared on her face, despite the fact that she was still crying. With a small salute, she turned and went back inside, and Bucky climbed into his car, letting his head fall on the steering wheel.  
“Finally sinking in that she’s leaving?” Sam asked, looking up from his phone. 

“I knew she was leaving the whole time. I think I was just ignoring it.” Bucky pouted, looking up at Sam, who only patted his back.

“Don’t worry you’ll forget that in a while. I, being a good friend, found a party.” Bucky gave a small laugh, twisting the key of his car and getting ready to leave the hotel. “You will soon be so drunk you won’t remember how you got to Colorado in the first place. Hopefully I’ll forget how I got here too, and I can forget about that entire drive.” 

“As great as that sounds, I can’t get that drunk tonight. I have to get her pretty early, and I’m not trying to have a hangover like last year.” Bucky’s face scrunched up as he remembered one particular week last year when he got so drunk that he had a hangover for what felt like a whole week. It was miserable, and ever since, he hadn’t touched more than two beers at a party. 

“Fine, you sit in the corner sulking, and you can drive me back when I forget how I got there.” 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

-

 

The party was so loud that Steve thought his head was going to implode. Natasha had said this was only a kickback, but it had evolved into was Steve referred to as a “first-month party”. During the first month every year, the number of parties increased and so did their intensity. It’s only after people remember that classes do matter that they tended to slow down. 

Right now the small two-story house was covered in people. The smell of vodka shots drifted down every hall, and the music was so loud Steve could barely hear himself, let alone anyone else. He’d only read Clint’s mouth when he screamed something about drinks, and laughed when Natasha groaned and followed him. That was when he saw Peggy, standing and nursing a single beer in her hand. She was chatting with someone Steve vaguely remembered to be a girl in her major, and she hadn’t seen him looking for anywhere else to go. He recognized a few people, but he wasn’t part of the scene enough to be friends with any of them, and that’s why he started making his way to the second level. Clint and Natasha wouldn’t mind too much if Steve hid in the bathroom for a while and regathered himself. 

The second floor of the building wasn’t nearly as packed as the first, but there were still small groups of people talking in corners. He dodged around them, accidentally interrupting a make out session in a bedroom, and apologized profusely before ducking out again. There was only one other room that could’ve been the bathroom, so Steve tried the handle and gave a small thanks when it opened. He had already closed himself into the room before he noticed the man sitting on the floor and staring at Steve like he was growing a second head.

“So I guess the lock is broken.” The man stated plainly, looking at the door. He was just leaning against a wall, holding a water bottle in his hand. 

“Sorry.” Steve mumbled. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I saw my ex and it was weird, and I just needed a place to hide.” 

“S’fine.” The guy waved a hand, “I was getting bored anyways. Take the hiding spot…” 

“Steve.” 

“Steve.” The guy’s lips formed into a small smirk as he started to stand up. The lighting was utter crap in this place, but Steve was certain this guy was amused at the situation. “Have a good one Steve. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” He brushed past Steve in the small bathroom, and Steve almost stopped him, because he smelt really nice. Now, Steve wasn’t a sucker for many things, certainly not dark haired boys sitting on a bathroom floor, but a good cologne was enough to make his brain short-circuit for a second. 

A second was just about all he had before the guy was gone, and Steve was hiding alone in a bathroom at a party. He thought he would’ve been over Peggy by now, but two years don’t disappear that easily. He shook that thought away and turned on the sink, splashing himself in the face. It was enough to snap his thoughts off Peggy, and back to the music outside the door. Clint and Natasha were downstairs celebrating, and he should be too. 

He wasn’t going to ruin a new year with old memories. He had an art show to focus on and memories to be making. Sure, Peggy was the best part of his last two years here, but he’d find something else. Right?

Steve sighed and splashed his face again. 

 

-

 

Bucky first woke up to the sound of his alarm going off, which it had for the second time that morning because he took Becca to the airport at 6. Then he woke up to Sam hitting him with a pillow and mumbling about turning off the sirens, which was ridiculous because Bucky’s alarm was an acoustic guitar jingle Becca had made for him. He did turn it off though, because he wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep. It was the first day of the new school year, and Bucky was practically buzzing with excitement for his morning class. He’d been looking forward to taking Advanced Pastry Making since he started school, and it was finally time to make it. 

He’d rushed out of the apartment, and across campus to the culinary building, almost forgetting all his equipment in the hurry. He did make it though, running in as everyone was starting to show up. The instructor was Mr. Stark, but he preferred everyone called him Tony. ‘Mr. Stark was my father,’ he told them. 

“Now normally, you’re going to only be going over the syllabus for your first days. I would like to see how you all perform though. I want you to make me a simple recipe you learned in basics. That will tell me which areas you’re all suited towards. I want you to make me a Choux Pastry of your choosing. I’ll come around and talk to you each about which areas excelled, and which you can improve at.” He waved a hand, and Bucky was already off making Sam’s favorite pastry. It was a little one that looked like a pie, but had sweet meringue on top and a cream inside. 

He turned on the milk over the stove to slowly heat it up, and carefully added eggs one at a time to the mix. The last thing he wanted to do was to make the pastry collapse. He then added all of his flower to the mixture at once, all while preparing a nice orange and raspberry topping. The whole point was to let the moisture do the work, and not over-cook the pastry. When it was done, it came out looking as beautiful as he’d hoped. 

Tony had already started making his rounds to each student. He praised them on their strong suits, and told them what to watch for in each piece. He’d been confident when Tony made it to his end, carefully examining the pastry.

“It looks beautiful. You know how to present, but let’s see how it tastes.” He picked up a fork, taking a corner of the desert and bit into it. For a moment, Bucky watched as Tony’s face paused, as if he was looking for what to say. Finally, he settled on ‘its fine’.

“Fine?” Bucky felt his heart leap into his throat. 

“Yes,” Tony shrugged, setting down the fork, “fine. I’m sure it’s just the nerves kid. Relax a little, ok? You’re going to be here all semester.” With that he walked onto the next person, leaving Bucky to stand alone at his counter-top. He then took his own fork and took a piece of the pastry. It was good, the way it usually was when Bucky made them. 

Fine.

The word echoed in Bucky’s head as everyone packed up to leave. It continued to do so even when Bucky dropped off his equipment back at the apartment, where Sam was still passed out on his bed. He’d done as he said, and got black out drunk before Bucky had to drag him back to their room. He didn’t even take long to get drunk either, that light-weight. Bucky didn’t even get a chance to hide out in the bathroom for more than fifteen minutes. At that point, after he’d been interrupted by some guy, he’d only returned to find Sam loudly singing with some guy and his fiancé. 

“Hey,” Bucky loudly said, throwing the pillow that had landed on him earlier back at Sam. His roommate only groaned, rolling over and shoving his face back into his pillow. “You missed your first class dumbass.” 

Sam’s reply was a finger in Bucky’s direction. 

“You want coffee from Rowdy’s?” The finger dropped, twisting into a thumbs up. Bucky nodded. He always went to Rowdy’s to think, or rather to get his mind off of thinking. Thinking always just made him more nervous about situations that he was. Sam usually begged him to bring back a cup of his favorite vanilla coffee from there when Bucky did need to stop thinking. It was a system they got down, and haven’t changed since. 

Bucky nodded, grabbing his headphones and walking to his car. If there was one thing that he enjoyed, it was staring out the restaurant’s window and losing himself in music for a while. It was easy to get lost here. Back home you couldn’t catch a break from the noise and people, but here it was so quiet. And the mountains were something straight out of a postcard. Beyond all of that though, Bucky loved the sky. Back in New York you could see the sky, but it felt so much more open and clear. Sometimes he found himself just watching clouds for a few hours, and that was what he intended to do when he pulled up to Rowdy’s.

He marched straight up to the second floor of the building, and over to his table, and didn’t even think before he found himself saying “You’re in my spot.” The blonde guy looked up from his sketchbook in surprise, his eyes wide.

“Sorry?”

“S’no problem. Just move.” Bucky shrugged, and the guy looked somehow even more confused.

“Do I know you?” 

“No,” Bucky said, then narrowed his eyes. “Wait, yes. Steve, right?” He recognized this guy as being the one that ran into the bathroom last night to hide from his ex. Had Bucky been a little more drunk that night and a little less sad, he supposed he would have talked to Steve longer. He wasn’t an idiot, he recognized attractive when he saw it. It wasn’t the time for flirting now though, it was the time for coffee and overthinking his professor’s words. 

“Yeah,” Steve nodded. 

“Good to see you.” Bucky put on a quick fake smile that dropped as fast as it appeared, “Now, move.” Steve looked like he’d finally regained himself from the shock of someone telling him to move. He sat back in the seat, closing his sketchbook and crossing his arms.

“I’m not moving.” He shrugged. Bucky huffed, looking around. There wasn’t another seat in this place that had as good of a view as this seat. So, he made a decision.

 

-

 

“Fine,” The guy mumbled, sitting down across from Steve. Steve could see him better in this light. He had dark brown hair, cut short but long enough so that his hair kept falling in his eyes, which were vibrantly blue. 

“What are you doing?” Steve was laughing at this point. 

“Sitting.” The guy said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Steve continued to just stare at him.

“You could at least tell me your name if you plan on interrupting my breakfast.” The guy looked down at Steve’s plate, which was covered in eggs and pancakes.

“It’s too late for breakfast, so technically I’m interrupting your poor choice of lunch.” He had that same smirk that Steve saw on his face last night. 

“Ok,” Steve gasped, “breakfast food is acceptable at all times of the day. Don’t tell me you’ve never had pancakes for lunch before!” The guy shrugged, and held up a hand to the waitress, who was walking by. He even had the nerve to only order a cup of coffee and a desert. 

“No, I haven’t.” The guy said the moment the waitress walked away. “Because I eat it in the morning like a sane person.” 

“You just ordered desert!” The only other people, an elderly couple, turned to look at them. The guy in front of him only shrugged again. 

“I’m thinking about something, and I do that best when I have a piece of pie from here in my stomach.” They both settled into a silence for a moment, only interrupted as the waitress brought a piece of pie to Bucky, along with a black coffee, which he immediately started drowning in sugar. The guy seemed to have a sweet tooth, which made Steve only smile more. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and he was wearing a leather jacket. He looked almost dangerous, and yet he was eating pie with over-sugared coffee at 11 am. 

“You still haven’t told me your name,” Steve said. “That seems a little unfair, seeing as you’ve already yelled at me this morning for sitting in a chair, I didn’t know you laid claim to.” The guy looked up from under the hair falling in his face, his eyes hard.

“I didn’t yell at you.” 

“Fine.” Steve smiled, “but I think you still owe me a name for the hostility. Then I’ll leave you alone. You can think and I’ll finish drawing.” The guy seemed to ponder this for a moment, taking a glance out the window he was sat directly in front of. 

“Bucky.” He finally stated, not turning to look at Steve. It was good enough for the both of them; Steve nodding as he picked back up his sketchbook, and Bucky looking out the window as he angrily ate his piece of pie. And that’s how they sat; both in silence for the next hour, with Steve drawing away, and Bucky just watching the clouds move by.


	2. Deux.

A pillow hit Steve smack-dab in the middle of his face, making him jump. When he came back to reality, he saw both Clint and Natasha staring at him, both giggling a little. 

“What the hell are you thinking about?” Natasha shook her head, “I feel like we’ve been calling your name every five minutes. Either you stayed up way too late watching New Girl again or you’re thinking about something.” Steve scrunched up his face, remembering when he stayed up late to find out if Jess and Nick finally got together, only to fall asleep in the middle of his drawing class the next day. Lack of sleep was something he hadn’t been able to deal with since he was in high school and attempting to finish that season in one night was killer on him. 

“I stopped staying up late to watch shows and you know it,” Steve pointed at Clint. His roommate usually wasn’t home, staying at Natasha’s dorm instead, but he knew Steve was usually to bed pretty early. 

“Yeah you really are an old man at heart. In bed by nine, awake at six. Soon I’ll hear you start complaining about the youth and their gadgets.” Steve picked up a pillow and threw it at Clint. 

“You’re the one that doesn’t understand technology asshole.” 

“You’re both idiots,” Natasha finalized, then turned to Steve with a small smirk playing on her lips. Internally, he was already sighing. Natasha had a habit of assuming that any time Steve was daydreaming it had to do with a guy or girl he’d met. She’d only ever been right once before when he met Peggy; the rest of the time he was usually thinking about some joke he saw online. 

“I don’t like when you get that smile,” Clint shuddered, “It’s like you know something the rest of us don’t and that scares me.”

“Good.” Natasha smiled even wider. “Now spill. Who the fuck has been on your mind for the past two weeks? You’ve had this weird grin and it’s starting to freak me out a little. No one smiles that much unless they’re thinking about someone.” Steve rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t flat out deny it this time. He was thinking about someone; he’d been thinking about someone for a while now.

“It’s not a crush.” Steve’s words had finally caught the attention of both of them. Clint looked up from his textbook with wide eyes, slowly setting it beside him. Natasha grabbed onto Clint’s arm, aggressively shaking it as she let out a high pitch noise. 

“She was right?” Clint asked in shock. “She’s never right!” Natasha stopped shaking his arm just in time to lightly hit his arm. 

“I’m always right.” She said, but the words held no anger. “Now, tell us about this mystery person!” Steve could try to deflect all he wanted, but he wasn’t stupid. Clint and Natasha were going to go to no ends to interfere with his love life. It was quickly becoming a hobby of theirs. The first year they met, they’d even made a game out of trying to get Steve to go out with someone. They both lost when it came out that Steve had already been on a few dates with a girl that worked at some of the art shows, Peggy Carter. 

“I met him at a diner.” Steve smiled, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as grumpy as him. Like the dude introduces himself by telling me I was in his spot and I should move. When I didn’t, he sat down across from me and angrily ate a piece of pie while staring out the window and not talking the whole time.” He gave a little laugh, but only looked up to see the smiles on Clint’s and Natasha’s faces fall a little.

“That’s it?” Clint sighed. 

“That’s not the modern-day love story I was looking for Steve. Frankly, I’m a little worried that you think this was such a cute thing. Being rude while meeting you isn’t romantic at all.” Natasha groaned, reaching for her backpack to pull out her math notebook, obviously upset that Steve’s love life wasn’t going to be more entertaining than her homework.

“It’s not like that,” Steve sighed, leaning backwards on his bed so he was staring up at the ceiling. He smiled a little, noticing that Clint and Natasha had spent their morning putting glow in the dark stars all over it. “I just want to know more about him. He was angry, but he wasn’t like… angry at me. He said he needed to think, and he didn’t mind me not talking either. We just sat in silence and I drew while he ate.” He could almost hear Natasha roll her eyes from across the room. 

“Was he at least cute?” Clint asked, followed by, “What? I’m just curious!” 

“Yeah,” Steve breathed out, thinking about Bucky sitting in front of him. He promptly sat up again, looking pointedly at his roommate. “I told you though, it’s not like that. He just intrigued me is all. Nothing romantic about it.” 

“You’ve been thinking about him for almost two weeks, and you’re really going to tell me you don’t have a crush on him?” 

“I don’t!” Both of them looked at him with the same dead-pan expression on their faces. “Really! Besides, I don’t think I’ll even ever see him again. Like you said, it’s been almost two weeks and nothing. I’ll forget about him in like another week, and you can both go back to trying to set me up with random people to get my mind off the breakup.” He said it like a joke, but even he realized it wasn’t very funny. Him and Peggy breaking off things had really put a damper on his mood for a solid month, and it wasn’t fun for any of them.

To this day, Steve still wasn’t sure who broke up with who. They said it was mutual, but neither of them was really happy anymore. He needed to focus more on his studies, and she wanted to go and live her life as much as she could before they graduated. Even if they both knew it was for the best, it still hurt to lose the connection you build with someone over two years. He didn’t know what he would have done if Clint and Natasha hadn’t been there for him after everything went down. They’d practically glued themselves to his side, always making sure he was going out to do something that had nothing to do with Peggy, and eventually it started to work. He found himself laughing; he found himself not thinking about her.

“Did you at least get mystery guy’s name?” Natasha asked, carefully trying to change the subject away from the breakup. Steve paused, then dropped his head into his hands, thinking about the name the guy had given him.

“I think he gave me a fake name.” he mumbled, “Does Bucky sound like a real name?” 

“Holy crap,” Clint started laughing, making Natasha shove him to the side. “You sat with the guy for how long, and he gave you a fake name?” 

“Maybe it’s best to forget about him,” Natasha said sympathetically. 

“You’re right,” Steve groaned, followed by him getting a determined look on his face. “Fine. I’ll just go and get some coffee, draw something, and push him out of my mind. Bucky who?” 

“That’s the spirit!” 

“You guy’s want anything?” 

 

-

 

“I don’t understand him!” Bucky practically yelled into the phone. “What the hell! Everything I’ve made in these last two weeks keeps getting the same comment. Presentation good, but overall just ‘fine.’ What the fuck does that even mean?” He mouthed a quick thanks to the guy that handed him his coffee and walked to the side counter to drown it in sugar.

“Maybe you’re reading into this?” Rebecca said hopefully on the other end. Bucky answered her with silence, and she paused to phrase that differently. “I mean, if you go and talk to him, I’m sure you can sort all of it out. I’m sure he can be more specific if you just talk to him and ask him what’s going wrong in your food.” 

“There’s nothing going wrong!” Bucky grumbled, pouting because his sister wasn’t taking his side. She was being reasonable, and he wasn’t having that. He didn’t need reason, he needed someone to be equally angry with him. 

“Buck, just go talk to him. I want to hear something else about your college life that doesn’t involve classes. Where’s the drama, the excitement? Where’s some cute romance you can look back on years later after you get married?” Bucky was still angry but couldn’t help the small laugh that fell from his lips. His sister had been hanging out with his mom too much if she was trying to get him a relationship too. 

“I don’t have any drama at the moment. You and Ma need to stop thinking that I’m hiding a boyfriend from you guys. If there’s something to say, then I’ll say it; you know that.” 

“I just think that you need to put yourself out there. Ma gets all sad whenever she talks about your love life. Says she’ll never get to meet your future husband. I mean, come on Buck. You haven’t been in a relationship for almost five years. There’s got to be someone you’re interested in?”

“Bucky?” A voice behind him made him jump, dropping some of the hot coffee onto his hand. He let out a small hiss as the skin burned. 

“Shit!” he whispered, turning around to see who called him, “Steve?”

“Steve? Wait so there is someone?” His sister’s voice echoed in his ear, suddenly a little more interested. “Who’s Steve? I’ve never heard about a Steve. Is he cute? Oh my god mom is going to freak out Bucky you have no idea.” Bucky rolled his eyes, holding up his finger to Steve signaling that he needed just a second.

“It’s not like that nosey. Also, it’s none of your business. Go do your homework and clean your room.” 

“Asshole.” His sister laughed, “I want to know about Steveeee. Screw psychology, this is way more interesting and worthy of my time. If you have a boyfriend and I’m not the first one to know I’m flying back.” 

“I’m hanging up Becca.” Bucky warned. 

“I’m texting Sam!” She squealed in excitement from the other line. He was going to have to do damage control on that whole situation.

“Becca don’t say shit to mom!” He yelled back, but she was already off the line. Crap. In front of him, Steve was smirking a little, trying to repress a small smile on his lips. Bucky huffed, not really in the mood to deal with any kind of happiness right now. He’d been dealing with Tony for two weeks and nothing had gotten better. On top of that, he now had to convince his sister and mom that no, he wasn’t hiding a boyfriend from them. 

“You pick some weird times to show up,” Bucky muttered, grabbing a napkin to wipe the drink off his hand. 

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled, raising a hand to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. “I feel bad for interrupting you. Sounds like you were having quite the conversation with someone.” He gave a small smile, and Bucky felt bad for being kind of rude. 

“Yeah, well, my sister is something else.” Bucky grumbled. Steve looked so out of place and uncomfortable that Bucky was almost on the verge of cracking a smile. “Are you stalking me or something?” Steve looked up; his eyes were wide with panic.

“What? No! Oh my god, I-”

“I’m joking.” Bucky did finally let a small smile fall onto his lips. “I’m pretty sure I was the one that sat with you the other day. It’d be pretty hard to stalk me if you were there first.” Steve finally let out a laugh, and a small voice in the back of Bucky’s mind noted that it was kind of a nice noise to hear. He promptly told that voice to shut up and go away.

“Right.” Steve nodded, “Um… I should probably get coffee for my roommate and his fiancé. I promised them I would get them something.” Bucky watched as Steve turned away, and he almost let him go too.

“Wait!” He found himself calling out. Damn it Barnes, learn to just let things be the way they are. “Let me buy you the coffees. I interrupted your breakfast the other morning. It’s the least I could do for being such an asshole.”

“You weren’t-”

“I was.” Bucky confirmed. “Let me silence the voice of my mother in my head telling me I was being rude. I have her nagging about enough things in my life, and you aren’t one I need added to the list.” Steve hesitated but nodded, and Bucky bought him the weird drinks that his roommate had asked for. Suddenly, Bucky was happy that Sam was a guy of simple tastes and didn’t bother with overpriced drinks from a coffee chain. 

“I guess I’ll see you around?” Steve asked as Bucky turned to leave. He could already feel his phone vibrating in his pocket from messages. God, Becca was going to get an earful when he had the chance to yell at her. 

“Uh… maybe, yeah.” Bucky nodded, reaching for his phone as he walked out of the coffee shop. He didn’t notice Steve’s face fall a little, because he’d already gotten at least ten messages in his inbox and he was plotting Becca’s murder.

 

Sammy boi: Am I supposed to know who the hell ‘Steve’ is?

 

Ma (8): Oh I do hope he likes my cooking

 

Asshole (3): CALL ME BACK I NEED DETAILS!

 

-

 

Bucky practically slammed the door to the apartment when he got back to it. His cell phone had been going crazy with messages from his mother and sister, and he didn’t have the energy to deal with either of them. They’d been watching too many hallmark movies for their own good, and it was starting to interfere with his life now. 

“Did you want Chinese?” Sam asked, walking towards the living room, his phone in his hand. “Also, who is Steve? I have like a million texts from your sister, and a few from your mom. I feel like I’m missing something here.” Bucky groaned, walking to the couch and collapsing face first onto it, letting out a scream into the cushion. 

“That bad?” Sam asked, sitting down on the edge of the couch. “Also, I know this is probably more important, but my stomach disagrees so is that a yes on Chinese?” Bucky turned his head, only enough to sadly nod. Sam didn’t even need to ask what he wanted before he started punching in their order into his phone. 

“Why is my mother so concerned with my love life?” Bucky muttered. 

“Love life? Why didn’t you tell me you had one for her to be concerned about?” Bucky turned and narrowed his eyes at his roommate, who was already laughing. “Wait, does this have anything to do with the guy I keep getting texts about? Who is the mystery man that your mother already wants to invite over for the holidays?” 

“She’s already what?” Bucky sat up. “God, I’m going to fly home and strangle Becca. I’m also going to strangle Steve for making my life a nightmare.” Sam raised an eyebrow. Bucky groaned, laying back down on the couch and twisting himself so he was looking at the ceiling instead. As if he wasn’t already stressed enough, this guy waltzed in and made his life worse. Plus, Bucky was even more pissed after realizing he couldn’t even blame Steve for any of this. 

“Ok, so mystery Steve…” Sam prompted.

“He’s the guy I met at Rowdy’s that I kind-of-but-not-really yelled at. I saw him today while I was on the phone with Becca and she took something out of context. I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?” 

“Bucky, your mom sent me like ten messages.” 

“That’s what I thought,” Bucky sighed. He loved his mom, he really did; she did have one major flaw. She was too concerned with his life. She was always calling to see if he was eating, sleeping, and most of all talking to people. She was always so worried that he was going to live in his room and never see the light of day that she’d been trying to set him up with people all the way from New York. Every time he turned around, she was talking about someone’s kid that went to his college that she’d met, and how he should give them a chance. If she’d caught on to the idea that he was already with someone, she was never going to hear the end of it. 

“She’s just looking out for you,” Sam tried, “and you know she has good intentions. She just wants you to be happy.” 

“I am happy!” 

“Bucky…” Sam narrowed his eyes. 

“Well, I’m not hiding in my room! I don’t need a steady relationship to prove that I can be ok on my own. You don’t!”

“Thank you so much for reminding me that I am still single,” Sam sighed, placing a hand over his heart like Bucky had just told him the best news. “Really, I love reminders that no one sleeps in my bed at night.” 

“Shut up, you’ll find someone,” Bucky mumbled. 

“And so will you! Come on, you know just as well as I do that your mom only wants what’s best for you. When was the last time you had a real relationship? Years. Now, when was the last time you went out casually with someone?” Bucky thought for a moment and frowned when nothing came to mind. Sam had a point; that bastard always had a point. It’d been a while since he really went out with anyone and just enjoyed himself. Instead of acknowledging this, Bucky simply turned to Sam and pouted, sticking his bottom lip out. 

“I don’t care. I don’t need this Steve guy getting more involved in my life than he already is.” 

 

-

 

The next time Bucky saw Steve, the month was already pulling to an end. He’d practically forgotten that Steve existed after he told his mom that no, he wasn’t hiding someone from her and the family. It was like Steve had just dropped off the face of the earth until one afternoon when Bucky found some free time. He’d been sticking around late after class to really try and go over his cooking. He’d taken Becca’s advice, talking to Tony after class. He’d been nervous as hell when he asked if he could talk to him, and Tony seemed to recognize this. He sat Bucky down in his office, looking for the right words to say.

“I was told about you,” He’d settled on, “I was told you were going to be one of the best students I ever had. I have to say that at least presentation wise, you never cease to amaze me. You’re lacking one of the most important things though. Passion. You love cooking kid, and I can tell when I eat your food, but you don’t bring anything to the table. I have yet to try something that was made with feeling.” Bucky had thought the words were bullshit. There was no way that he was cooking without passion. Cooking was his only real love, and he showed it in every damn meal he made. 

It was this very anger that told him he should take a break from the cooking for an afternoon and go get a coffee. He’d been neglecting his second love, and that was Rowdy’s. Luckily, his table was open when he got there, and his favorite waitress brought him a nice cup of coffee. He was even enjoying a nice book that Becca sent him when someone slid into the seat across from him. When he looked up, he was surprised to see non-other than Steve.

“I think you’re in my seat,” he smiled, referencing the first time the two had really gotten to know each other. Bucky let out a small chuckle, closing the book.

“Hate to tell ya, but this seat is all mine. Has been for the last two years and will continue to be until I die or this place closes.” Steve grinned, sliding off his jacket, which Bucky was a little jealous of. It was starting to get cold and he’d run out before grabbing his own jacket. 

“You mind if I interrupt then?” 

“Yeah.” Bucky nodded, and Steve’s face dropped for a second. “I’m kidding! It’s only fair.” Steve took a moment, but eventually his smile crept back onto his face. 

“You’re a dick.” 

“I know.”

“So, what brings you to Rowdy’s? Is it a coffee addiction? Every time I see you you’ve been drinking coffee, and frankly I’m concerned about your caffeine intake.” Bucky scoffed, but lifted his cup of coffee to his mouth and took a drink anyways, just to spite Steve. 

“Hiding from my classes actually. You?” 

“Similar problem,” Steve shrugged, “I’m in an upcoming gallery, but nothing I makes seems to turn out right. Clint says I’m just overthinking it, but I need it to be perfect. It’s my first show, and I don’t want anything that doesn’t mean something hanging up. I mean I can make art, but it has to mean something to m- I’m talking too much.” Bucky didn’t even notice that a small smile had started to form on his face because of the rambling, but it did. 

“It’s fine. You’re an art major?” Steve nodded, “What field?” 

“Mostly fine and studio art, but I dabble in a little graphic design. It used to be my major before I decided I hated HTML with a passion, and I loved painting.” Steve grinned down at the table and Bucky couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“I get it man. I’m working with food. I envy STEM majors every single day.” 

“Oh god, you get to make actual food?” Steve closed his eyes like he was remembering something, “I can’t even think of the last time I had a warm meal. It seems like nothing is ever hotter than room temperature at the cafeteria.” Bucky scrunched up his face.

“You eat that shit?” 

“Yeah,” Steve laughed, “I’m bad enough in the kitchen. Clint is even worse. I think I remember one time he boiled hamburger. We have an understanding that neither of us are to set foot in a kitchen unsupervised by someone who’s good with food. I think at this point I’d kill to eat something that was homemade.” 

“Maybe I’ll have to cook for you sometime, but I can’t promise it would be something that you like. My roommate hates a lot of the stuff I make. He says it’s too experimental.” Bucky grinned into his coffee as he took another drink.

“If you can make anything that’s warmer than at the school, I think I’ll love it.” 

“You should tell Sam to lower his standards.” Bucky laughed, “I think he needs to treat it more like you do. It’s not my fault that sometimes I need a test subject and no one else is ever around.” Steve grinned, leaning forward a little more. 

“Tell you what, you cook all the weird stuff you want for me if I get to draw you.” Bucky pulled back a little, setting his cup down. “Sorry, that came off weird. It’s just that Clint and his fiancé Natasha get tired of me drawing them all the time. I think my and my professors need to see someone else for my real-life practice. If you’re completely opposed to that I’ll understand; it’s an odd request and I’m suddenly starting to regret that I asked.” 

“No,” Bucky shook his head, “You just took me off guard. If it’s for class I suppose I don’t mind having someone draw me. Here, give me your phone.” Steve’s eyes widened, but he pulled out his phone anyways and handed it over to Bucky, who typed in his number. “I’m free on Wednesday and Friday afternoons. Text me sometime and I’ll make you a real meal.” He placed his finished cup of coffee on the table and stood up. He didn’t say goodbye but gave a small wave to Steve as he turned and walked out of the restaurant. He got outside onto the street when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see a next text.

 

Unknown Number: I like Greek : )

 

He found himself grinning down at the next before he froze and told himself that he needed to get out more. He shouldn’t be smiling over a text from someone he barely knew. Sam was right, he needed to socialize and make friends more often. Then again, he wasn’t really a people person and the idea of socializing with anyone he wasn’t forced to talk to sounded like the absolute worst thing that he could think of. Steve being his… acquaintance was more than enough socialization than he usually got anyways. Sam should be proud of him for not being a recluse.

God, his mom was right, he didn’t get out much.


	3. Trois.

Steve had been staring at his phone for the last week; he couldn’t help it. He’d wanted to pick it up and give Bucky a call or send a text, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The temptation to send the guy a message had been lingering over him and it was only getting worse. Normally he wasn’t this weird when it came to talking to people, but something about Bucky intimidated him. He was a chef in the making, he wore leather jackets and he held a confidence to him that felt untouchable. He was in a whole other league from Steve, and that thought nagged him every time he started to type something in on his phone, only to delete it later. 

Even now he sat on his bed, his finger hovering over the send button on his phone. It was a simple message, asking if Bucky was free this week to cook. He could do this; it was just a text. He could text someone. Ok, no he couldn’t do this. Steve sighed, moving his finger to the backspace and holding it down.

“Zip me up,” Clint said, walking out of their bathroom in what could only be described as a short grey one piece with a pair of ears sitting on top of his head. Steve’s eyes widened in surprise as Clint marched towards him and turned around. Steve couldn’t even process words as he zipped him up and a knock came to the door. Clint ran over and opened it, only to reveal Natasha in a pink one piece with bunny ears on her head. 

“Damn it, Clint, when I said Mean Girls, I meant dress as Aaron.” 

“But… I’m a mouse… duh.” Clint grinned, pointing to the ears on his head. Even Steve didn’t manage to make it without laughing, which only made his smile grow. Natasha should have known better than to not specify. 

“I’ll get back to you in a second,” She sighed, “First, why aren’t you dressed Steve? We’re supposed to head over to T’Challa’s in like fifteen minutes.” Steve looked down at his own outfit, which consisted of his Netflix watching sweatpants and t shirt. 

“Because I don’t have a costume?” Natasha huffed, running to Clint’s closet and returning a moment later with his old letterman’s jacket and throwing it at Steve. 

“Now you do. Throw on some jeans and be our Aaron for the night. You’re not about to stay in and watch cooking shows on Halloween. I refuse to let you become a hermit.” Steve laughed, moving to stand up because when Natasha had her mind set on s  
something, there was no changing it or going back from that point. 

“Gee, thanks mom!”

“Don’t talk to your mother with sass!” Clint yelled as Steve went into the bathroom to change, “We only want what’s best for you!” 

“I can’t hear you in that outfit!” Steve responded. When he returned, Natasha grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the door. He would have rather just stayed in for the night, but it was better than spending the whole time looking at his phone. He’d missed out on a party last year and opted to go out to a haunted house with Peggy. Really it was an excuse to hang out with just her, but this year it was different. He couldn’t dwell on the fact that the two of them weren’t together. He also couldn’t dwell on the fact that hit flirting game had been seriously damaged because of their breakup. 

T'Challa’s place was pretty big too. It was one of those three story houses split between a bunch of students, and this one happened to be one of the bigger ones by campus. As far as Steve knew, T’Challa was a foreign exchange student, and a pretty popular one at that. It didn’t surprise him that so many people were flooding in and out of the house like they owned the place. Clint and Natasha dragged him inside, heading straight for the beer while he migrated to a corner. He wouldn’t be surprised if Peggy was here. She was never one to party, but she was easily persuaded by her friends, who did like the scene. She was probably off nursing her only drink of the night, something fruity because she couldn’t stand the taste of beer. The thought made Steve sigh a little; he shouldn’t be thinking about her right now. 

“I was going to ask how you are, but your face says you’re having a pretty shitty time right now.” A voice to his side made Steve forget about Peggy just for a moment. When he turned, he felt all of the air leave his chest because Bucky was dressed in a white shirt with a leather jacket and his hair was sleeked back. He also had a lollipop hanging out of his mouth like it was a cigarette. 

“What?” Steve blinked. 

“You ok?” Bucky laughed, and Steve could smell that he’d had a drink or two. He didn’t look drunk, but the smell of alcohol tended to linger on people. 

“Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about someone.” Bucky nodded, leaning against the wall by Steve.

“Your ex?” Steve looked at Bucky in surprise. “You were pretty distraught about her the first time I met you in that bathroom.” Steve remembered stumbling into the bathroom only to see Bucky on the floor. He looked sadder than he did now. Steve also remembered the cologne Bucky had been wearing, and even now he could catch hints of it in the air. 

“Yeah. I think I’m looking for an excuse not to think about her.” Steve gave a small smile and Bucky’s smirk fell onto his face. It was similar to the look that Natasha or Clint got when they wanted to fuck with him. 

“Well your savior is here…” He looked over Steve’s outfit with a hint of confusion.

“Aaron Samuels. I believe my Regina and Karen are somewhere over there.” He pointed in the direction of the living room where Natasha and Clint were already engaging in a drinking competition. Bucky followed his gaze and started chuckling when he saw Clint was indeed Karen. 

“Well Aaron, James Dean at your service.” He gave a small bow and Steve couldn’t help the grin that started to form on his face. “I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to hear from you again. Kinda thought you were ignoring me after out conversation at the diner.” Bucky stuck out his bottom lip and Steve was beginning to wonder if Bucky had more to drink than he’d previously thought he did. Even in the few times they’d met, Steve could tell he wasn’t the type to normally act like this. 

“Yeah, I wanted to message you, but it felt… weird?” A strange look passed over Bucky’s face and Steve covered his own face with his hand, “Not that you’re weird! I’m weird. Well… I’m bad at talking to people that aren’t Clint or Natasha. I don’t think you’re weird at all, you’re mundane. I mean, not that you aren’t unique or anything. You’re definitely cool an- I’m rambling.” Steve’s face was already red by the time he removed his hand. Bucky was grinning like crazy, and he was even chuckling a little. “Yes, I want to take you up on your offer though.” 

“How about this, you drive me back to the dorms and I’ll cook for you. I could use an escape from this hell anyways.”

“Now?” Steve wasn’t sure he’d heard Bucky right. He’d just rambled like a crazy person and yet, here he was getting invited to dinner at 10 pm. 

“No, next month. Yes, now. Come on, I’ll text Sam and say that I’m leaving with you. He won’t mind; in fact, I’m pretty sure I saw him and the host of this thing getting all chummy out back. I even bought stuff for Greek food.” Bucky placed a hand on Steve’s arm, and he felt himself cave. 

“Yeah, ok. Tell me where we’re headed.” 

 

-

 

“Stupid fucking thing! Let me in.” Bucky whispered, trying to get his key to just open the apartment door. It had a tendency to get stuck half-way through and took some giggling to get undone. With one final pull, he finally got the key to twist and the door opened. The apartments on campus weren’t much. It did however have a small living room, kitchen, bathroom, and two rooms for him and Sam. It was just enough to feel like a home away from home and that’s all that mattered. 

“You always bring boys home for dinner this late?” Steve joked behind him. He scoffed, rolling his eyes and casting a look over his shoulder as he opened the door for Steve. 

“No, that’s not something I do for anyone but friends and family. If I bring a boy over, there usually isn’t much food involved.” He almost laughed at the way Steve’s face started to turn red. It wasn’t often one of his friends (were they friends? Did they know each other well enough for that yet?) got affected by his sense of humor. Normally, especially by his mom, he was told to knock it off and that was that. It was almost nice to see someone blush at his words rather than scold him for it. He made a mental note that he should joke around when Steve was present more often. 

“I guess I should feel special then?” Steve mumbled, looking around at the posters him and Sam had hung up on the walls. 

“Don’t try to flatter yourself too much, Sam will fight you for position of the friend I cook for the most. He’s passionate about free food.” He walked into the kitchen, hip-checking the counter in the process and cursed. 

“You sure you should cook?” Steve laughed. 

“I’m not drunk, asshole.” It was true. Bucky hated to be drunk and not full grasp his surroundings. It wasn’t a state of awareness he was really comfortable with, so he always stopped drinking after a small buzz. He was happy with being comfortable and aware of everything he was saying and doing. Being drunk took that option away from him. “Besides I could cook this in my sleep. I know the recipe like the back of my hand.” He’d already started to pull out eggs and spinach from his fridge when he turned and saw Steve was frowning behind him.

“I promise I won’t burn anything,” Bucky promised. 

“It’s not that,” Steve mumbled, “I just remembered you were going to let me draw you for my class and I don’t have an art book with me.” Bucky paused, then grinned and ran out of the room and towards his bedroom. When he returned it was with a small notebook that didn’t have any lines on the pages. 

“My sister Becca got it for me to write notes in but there’s some empty pages in the back.” Steve looked down at the book with hesitation, but Bucky only pushed it closer to him. “Dude you’re not going to ruin the book.” Eventually he opened it to a blank page and started sketching as Bucky shrugged off his jacket and got working on some Spanakopita. It wasn’t the fastest dish he could have made but Steve said he wanted real food and Bucky was determined to give it to him. 

“So, where you from?” he asked as he started to sauté the onions and garlic. He heard the smile creep into Steve’s voice as he spoke.

“Originally? Brooklyn but I haven’t lived there since I was a kid. I moved in with my aunt when I was around 8 and have lived in Colorado since.” Bucky felt his own fond smile as he turned around.

“No shit? Me too. Brooklyn born and raised. I knew there was a reason I like you. Sam is great and all but the guy’s from Montana. I feel like I’m going crazy sometimes the way he talks about stuff.” He could almost see Steve’s eyes gloss over as he thought about New York. Bucky’s mom had always said that you could leave New York, but the city will never leave you. That much seemed to be true for the both of them. “You ever think about going back?”

“Sometimes,” the frown that had faded was back on Steve’s face, “but I wouldn’t know where to start. My parents passed when I was little, so I don’t remember a ton about living there. I’d love to go back, but I think I’d feel like a tourist staying in a hotel. It wouldn’t really feel like home.” Bucky felt the words tug on his heart and a silence settled over the both of them. He couldn’t imagine not having a heard of people to return to when he went home. He was so distracted by the thought that he didn’t notice he set a glass on the edge of the counter until it fell and broke. Almost immediately Steve was moving from where he’d sat at their table and went to grab the glass with Bucky. 

“You don’t have to help,” Bucky muttered, crouching down to start lifting up shards of glass. “I can pick up some glass on my own.” 

“I want to.” Steve was grinning only a foot from Bucky’s face when he looked up. Steve was staring at him with this kind look on his face, his eyes all scrunched up because of his smile, and had Bucky been drunk he might have moved forward a little, but he wasn’t. Instead, he looked down and let his hair fall into his face just as the apartment door opened and Sam came stumbling in with a large grin on his face. Bucky rolled his eyes at his roommate as both him and Steve stood up, throwing the glass into the trash. 

“Someone have a good night?” Bucky grinned, noticing the smile on Sam’s face. It wasn’t often that Sam was seen with people at parties that weren’t his friends. It was nice to see him put himself out there and meet someone. 

“Great night. We went for a walk and he bought me ice cream a-” Sam corrected, his eyes landing on Steve. “Wait, who are you?” 

“Uh… Steve?” Steve was laughing slightly at Sam’s gushing over someone. 

“The Steve?” Sam was no longer looking at Steve but was instead raising his eyebrows at Bucky in a look that read ‘not bad’. Steve was turning to him now as well, raising his own eyebrows in a way that screamed he was confused. Leave it to drunk Sam to make things sound way weirder than they actually were. 

“I told him I yelled at but not really,” Bucky explained. Steve nodded at Bucky’s explanation but looked more uncomfortable now than he did before, almost like he was thinking about something. It wasn’t until Sam was groaning and making his way to the fridge to find some water that Steve gave him an apologetic look and started to shuffle towards the door.

“I think I should get going. I’m sorry; can I take a raincheck on that meal?” Bucky frowned but nodded, then looked to his drunk roommate. Sam was on the verge of dropping everything he was taking out of the fridge for a bottled water. By the time he turned back around, Steve was gone and in his place was a small piece of paper laying on top of the notebook. Ignoring Sam almost knocking over more stuff, he made his way to the notebook and he couldn’t help but smile when he saw a drawing of himself chopping onions, a small grin on his face as he thought of home. 

He tucked the drawing away and made a mental note to hang it up later. 

 

-

 

“Why won’t it work? I can’t tell if it’s my hand or the paint that won’t cooperate.” Steve groaned as he rinsed off his paint brush and tried for a new shade of blue. Next to him, Wanda laughed and looked up from her own charcoal drawing of a flower and small cakes. She’d suggested they work on their pieces for the gallery, but the inspiration still wasn’t coming to him like he wanted. He felt completely stuck looking at a canvas in a mess of colors that didn’t feel like him. 

“That’s why I don’t paint.” She shrugged but Steve knew he would have said the same thing about her drawing. Charcoal was a mess that only stained his hands and looked like a third grader drew the object. “Maybe you just need to think of a theme and go off of that. Something important to you, ya know?” 

“Says the girl who’s making a freaking masterpiece.” The sound of Clint’s voice made them both turn to the door. “I mean seriously though, the fact that you aren’t just painting pictures of me is saddening. You know I should be the subject of the whole show, you’re just too scared to announce your love for me. I’ll take your apology in the form of an art gallery piece or food.” He was grinning as he handed them both a cup of coffee. 

“What about a dramatic confession at the wedding? That would definitely be one to remember.” Wanda suggested.

“As much as I would love for my wedding to be that big dramatic wedding, I’d like to make it through that day without Natasha wanting to strangle anyone that’s not her family. Not trying to be on a dateline about grooms murdered on their wedding day.” 

“And I thought you wanted to go out with a bang,” Steve tisked him under his breath. “I’m disappointed in you. Besides I think Natasha would expect something weird from you. Shall I remind you of your Halloween costume?” Steve almost shuddered as he thought back to the night almost a week ago. That costume was doing no one any favors.

“I looked damn good.” Clint nodded, “It was kind of hard to explain to people that our Aaron disappeared though. Seriously, where did you go? One minute I see you talking to some Elvis and the next you’re gone.” 

“First of all, he was James Dean.” Steve corrected, “Second, we went back to his apartment.” Both of his friend’s eyes widened and Steve shook his head. “Not like that you perverts. He was cooking for me and we didn’t even eat because his roommate came home, and he said something and then I got lost in thought and ran out a-”

“Breath, Jesus Christ slow down. Why would you run out?” 

“I don’t know! I’m awkward and we had a moment and I think I panicked.” Steve dropped his head into his hands, only thinking about the paint on them after it was too late. God, he was a mess. 

“You at least texted him, right?” 

“No…” 

“Give me your phone.” Clint reached out his hand. Steve reluctantly grabbed his phone from his pocket and handed it over to Clint.

“He’s under Coffee Addict.” Steve mumbled, making Wanda laugh. Clint looked up, it finally clicking that this James Dean is indeed the Bucky that Steve had run into a few times. “I thought it was funny.” Clint sighed but started typing and hit send before Steve could take his phone back and chicken out of talking to him. When he did finally get his phone, he saw the message he’d typed out.

 

Me: Hey I’m sorry for running out the other night. Let me make it up to you? Me and my roommate and me are going hiking on Friday afternoon. You’re welcome to come with us

 

“We’re going hiking?” Steve wondered out loud.

“We are now.” Clint nodded, “You need someone there to prevent you from being an awkward mess. That’s what me and Nat will be there for. We can help your relationship, that is unless he sees me and falls madly in love with me immediately. Then I can’t help what happens next.” Wanda snorted into her drink.

 

“What makes you think he’d run off with you?”

“Please baby doll, have you seen me?” Clint grinned. 

“Nope. Can’t see past your massive ego sorry.” 

“That’s not the only th-”

“Nope.” Steve smacked a hand over Clint’s mouth, “I’d like to keep my ears intact and not have to think about you when I paint today.” When he removed his hand, Clint looked almost touched as he placed a hand over his heart.

“I’m honored that you think about me.” He winked. Steve only groaned and ignored his friend when he felt his phone buzz in his hand. It was a message from Bucky and he felt the tension and anxiety he’d had since Halloween ease up a little.

 

Coffee Addict: That sounds good. I can give everyone a ride? : )


	4. Quatre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ch isn't as long. I got a not so nice comment on one of my other stories that kind of derailed my writing for a while so this turned into more of a filler ch while I get ready for the bigger plot of the story. Thank you guys for the sweet feedback you've given me so far. You guys are my motivation to write. <3 More to come soon!

Steve was happy that the weather of fall was in full swing, making the hike up the side of a mountain much easier. It was also nice that everyone was in a good mood, still laughing over Clint’s driving mixtape that could give someone whiplash with how fast it changed genres. Steve also felt himself overcome with a sense of relief that Clint and Natasha had gotten along with Bucky so fast.

Steve had felt like he was going to puke when he watched Bucky’s car roll up into the parking lot next to the dorm. It was old, but classic looking, which only added to the badass look that Bucky had going for him. Clint was already excited at that point, running to take the front seat as Nat and Steve crawled in back. Bucky had smiled and waved a hello just as Natasha had leaned over to Steve and casually whispered into his ear.

“It’s a shame you two can’t have kids because those fuckers would be the most beautiful things to exist after mine and Clint’s.” Steve had tried his best to muffle his laugh as he swatted her arm. A small part of him couldn’t help but agree though, Bucky was attractive. He just knew deep down they were friends. Bucky had been alone with him in his apartment, and no moves were made on Steve, sending him in the direction that the two were no more than friends. He wasn’t complaining, but he wouldn’t have minded being something more.

Friendship wasn’t so bad though. The two fell into easy conversation as the group of them walked up the side of a mountain. Clint and Natasha had run ahead, play sword fighting with some sticks they’d found. They’d asked Steve and Bucky to take a side, but Bucky insisted that dominating all of them and starting his own side was more his style, so the couple stuck to their own battle. Steve could help but watch them and think there wasn’t any two people more in sync than his friends. 

They’d met when Natasha left her phone on a bench in their shared math class and Clint tried to return it to her afterwards. Unfortunately, it was a night class so when Clint grabbed her shoulder outside, her natural instinct was to turn and punch, breaking his nose. They’d bonded in the hospital waiting room, and when Clint returned to their dorm all bandaged up, he’d told Steve he found the love of his life. It took him weeks for her to agree to go out with him, but it seemed to work out in his favor. Two years later and Steve still saw that dumb love-struck look on his face whenever he looked at her, and she had the same one on her face. 

“Your friends are great,” Bucky was smiling at him, snapping Steve out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah, I don’t know what I’d do without them.” He turned to look at the way the light of sunset was bouncing off Bucky’s face. It was a nice contrast of the dark hair against such a bright orange of the setting sun. “Your roommate seems really nice too.” 

“Sam is great. Believe it or not I hated him when I first met him all because of a weird argument over Mario Kart, but after a while he turned out to be one of the only people around here that doesn’t piss me off.” Steve couldn’t help the smile that started to creep onto his face when he mumbled a reply.

“Am I on that list?” Bucky looked up thoughtfully.

“I think you might be. Congrats, it’s very exclusive.”

“Oh, I feel like I just became a part of a very elite club. The Group That Doesn’t Anger Bucky Club.”

“That’s a legacy I’m ok with being made after me.” Steve couldn’t help but chuckle as the group made their way towards the little outing they were headed to. It was on the edge of a cliff and was a perfect view of the stars, and it even had a fire pit they’d built a while back to roast marshmallows over. As they reached the clearing, Bucky let out a low whistle, looking over the view. Trees dotted the rolling mountains, and the sun was just falling over the skyline, covering the area in darkness as the starts started to shine above them. It felt like the perfect area for time to just stop and stay still. 

“Pretty, isn’t it?”

“How the hell did you guys find this place?” Bucky breathed. Steve felt his breath catch in his throat as Bucky’s eyes lit up with wonder over the view. It was beautiful. A small cliff side held just enough space for them all to hide out and a breathtaking view of the mountains around them.

“We went on a double date hike a while back and got lost for a while. We happened to stumble onto this place and Peggy suggested we camp out for the night. We decided we liked it enough to come back a few times every year. It’s our secret little spot.” Natasha smiled as she knelt down and started unpacking her bag full of food. Bucky paused for a moment before he turned back to Steve, a frown forming on his lips and Steve could already tell he was worried about Peggy being brought up.

“Not so much of a couples retreat anymore.” Clint mumbled. Natasha slapped his arm, her eyes screaming at him to stop talking as they often did. Bucky seemed to look just as uncomfortable as Steve felt, so Natasha grabbed Clint’s arm and started hauling him off to go get firewood. The sun was finally falling behind the mountain’s peaks, casting a darkness over the cliff they were on. 

“So, you and this Peggy were pretty serious?” Bucky asked, looked like he was trying to find the best way to ask the question as not to hurt Steve’s feelings. He walked to the edge of the clearing, sitting down so his legs were dangling over the small cliff they were on. It was so peaceful out here. Crickets and distant animals were the only sounds that could be heard, making it feel like everyone but the two of them had completely disappeared. 

“Yeah.”

“What happened?” Steve took a breath, sitting down beside him.

“She wanted to move back to England when we finished school. I couldn’t bring myself to leave so we ended it before it winded up putting pressure on the relationship.” Bucky nodded, and Steve missed the lingering look Bucky gave him as he looked up at the stars.

“You miss her?”

“Sometimes.”

“It’ll get easier, you know.” 

“It feels weird to be here without her honestly.” From his side he felt Bucky bump his shoulder with his own.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be the fill in for tonight so long as we don’t get lost or have to do couple activities with the couple that could be the same person.” When Steve looked back down at Bucky, the brunette had a soft smile on his face and Steve forgot about Peggy just for a moment. 

“No one wants to do stuff with those two. They make a point to out-couple you every time.” Bucky let the smile drop off his face and he was suddenly very serious.

“You didn’t tell me it was a competition Steve.” He stood up and held out his hand, “Come on, we’re gonna couple the fuck out of this hike.” Steve let out a laugh and grabbed Bucky’s hand. It had been a while since anyone was actually able to make him feel better about his and Peggy’s breakup, but somehow Bucky had managed it. Him and his blue eyes and soft smiles and all-too competitive and strong personality had brought Steve a sense of comfort that he’d needed. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled just as Nat and Clint had come back up the hill, both running and carrying way too much firewood. 

“Don’t mention it. What are fake dates for if not to help you have a good time?” Bucky grinned just as Natasha told Clint to ‘suck her metaphorical dick’ for collecting less firewood than her. Bucky was right, they really were dangerously close to becoming the same person. Steve really feared for what their future children were going to have to deal with. 

“You ready to burn the shit outta some mellows?” Clint screamed. 

“Is he always like this?” Bucky laughed and Steve felt his comfortable smile return to his face. 

“I don’t know how Nat does it.” Steve nodded in return. “We better join them before they turn this into a competition too though.” Bucky nodded and the group sat down to try and get a fire going. It was a little hard as darkness was rapidly increasing, but eventually a fire was made. They all laid out piles of blankets and sat down close to the flames to stay warm. Clint and Natasha were arguing over the lyrics to a song that Clint was mumbling to her, and Bucky had sneakily curled up to Steve’s side as he was watching his roommate.

“Cassiopeia and Cepheus.” Bucky spoke suddenly, snapping Steve out of his trance. He hadn’t even noticed the fact that a shivering boy had curled up to his side and rested his head against Steve’s arm. 

“What?”

“Cassiopeia and Cepheus,” he spoke again, this time pointing up to the sky. “They’re a mythological king and queen turned to stone by Medusa. Cepheus is the one that kind of looks like a tent, and Cassiopeia is the one below it.” He pulled his hand back and tucked it into the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders. 

“How did you know that?” Steve grinned. The two of them were just whispering loud enough for only them to hear and it made a little flutter in Steve’s stomach start up.

“We go to this cabin every winter up north back home. My mom used to take me outside and name the stars to me when I was little. I don’t know nearly as many as her, but I think she’s proud I remember any at all. She could tell you more than I ever could.” Steve didn’t need to turn to hear the smile in Bucky’s voice.

“I think it’s amazing.” He heard a small chuckle to his side and felt Bucky sink further into him. Steve didn’t have many days or moments that he wished he could relive forever. The list had contained the day his parents took him fishing, Clint and Natasha serenading him until he cried laughing, and Peggy’s birthday when they went dancing. Mentally though, this moment was added onto the list, tucked away so he wouldn’t forget it.

 

-

 

Bucky should have definitely gotten more sleep. Camping out had completely ruined whatever sleep schedule he’d managed to keep, and his morning class drained him. Tony was still not impressed by his food and Becca keeps pestering him about his life as if his mom wasn’t bad enough. In other words, it was a completely crap day. It also didn’t help that he had a growing headache that seemed to be pulsating behind his eyes. It was this reason that the moment class ended he let his head fall against the counter.

“You ok?” a voice next to him made him twist so he was looking to his side without having to life himself up.

“I think I’m dying?” Bucky responded. 

“From what I’d seen I thought you were going to fight Tony first. I’m a little disappointed that you’re giving into death instead.” Bucky only groaned more and twisted to get a look at the girl talking to him. He recognized her as one of the louder girls in class that always seemed to get good remarks on her dishes.

“I’m not crazy. He’s totally giving me crap about my food, right?” He watched as the girl thought for a moment and reached past Bucky. She tore off a small piece of his peach puff pastry he made today and made a small moaning noise.

“You’re not crazy. That’s delicious.” Bucky sighed, finally pulling himself so he was sitting up. “If you decide you are going to fight him after all, please tell me. I want in because that’s amazing.” The girl held out her hand, “I’m Shuri by the way.” 

“Bucky.” He paused and looked back up at her as he shook her hand, “Your brother is T’Challa?” 

“Whatever you’ve heard about me it’s not true.” 

“No, it’s not that. I think my roommate and him are kind of going out.” Shuri’s face lit up into a smile and she laughed.

“You’re Sam’s roommate? You’re the one that never sleeps?” 

“That’s probably why I feel like death. I either need a lethal dose of caffeine or sleep medication. Either way I hope it’s enough to knock me out for at least a few years. Maybe then I’ll wake up feeling rested for once.” 

“I think that’s a coma.” Shuri laughed. Both of them had started packing up their stuff and putting it back into their carriers. 

“Perfect.” Bucky grabbed his phone to see he had a few texts from his mom and dad and a single one from Steve talking about Thanksgiving plans. Bucky, against all his wishes to be bitter and crawl into a hole for the rest of the month felt himself smile. He hated that someone had the ability to make him feel all happy and warm like that. Sam was able to make him smile, but this felt like real happiness and it was strange. “You never know though, maybe tomorrow will be better.” 

And for once, he believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint's Driving Playlist:   
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Coi2wBRwDhsMUwBaaw2oo?si=dDz4tLAOSp-S_1q_WxcIbA
> 
> Sweet Oblivion Playlist:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/05Dtj2TLsTI5shTwDNva16?si=n3HFuhnGSl-tM31z3kdj_g


	5. Cinq

Bucky always loved fall the most out of any month. Summer was always too hot and in recent years he found himself working more than enjoying the season. Spring was always so busy with the end of school, and winter was too cold. Fall was the perfect time right before finals to just sit back and enjoy the crisp air and oranges of the trees. It was even nicer when everyone left to go home for Thanksgiving. The week was possibly the quietest week on campus out of the whole year, and it brought Bucky more peace than he ever thought possible. He could have gone home for the holiday, but that would have meant dealing with his family. Here, he could enjoy a moment of peace before the chaos of finals kicked in. He could enjoy a nice walk outside without being bombarded by clubs or organizations, and the only people left on campus wanted to ignore him as much as he did them. It was the perfect week to just relax and watch movies in his room. That had, after all, been his tradition for the last few years. All he had to do was make it to his apartment, curl up in bed, a-

“Bucky!” And talk to someone else because he couldn’t catch a break. Giving up, Bucky turned to see Steve running towards him, a cup of coffee in his hand he was trying not to spill. 

“You go and get coffee and don’t bring me one?” Bucky smiled. He’d grown fond of Steve in the last month, and grew to enjoy the guy’s company more than anything. After their hike they’d decided to start their own little study group with Sam. They’d carved out their own little area in the library, the farthest corner where no one could bother them or hear them when they got off topic. Normally, Bucky was one to hate studying, but it wasn’t so bad when he was doing it with other people. 

“Actually,” Steve grinned, finally caught up to him, “I was headed to your place to offer you this.”

“Really?” Bucky’s eyes lit up as turned into a child and made grabby hands towards the cup. It was only as he brought it to his lips that he paused and looked up at Steve with suspicion, “Did you or Clint do anything to it?”

“I did not, and Clint is in Michigan with Natasha and her family.” 

“Oh god this is a bribery coffee, isn’t it?” Steve glanced down at the ground and Bucky let out a groan. “This better be a damn good coffee. What do you need, Rogers?” The drink was good, much to Bucky’s distaste. It was a sneaky move on Steve’s part using Bucky’s weakness against him to get something from him. 

“Well, like I said, Clint and Natasha are out of town for Thanksgiving and they won’t be back until the night before classes start up again. I normally do something for the holiday, but they’re gone this year and I don’t have the money to take the bus to Denver and stay with my aunt. I was kind of hoping you’d say yes to coming over and watching… sports?” Bucky shook his head, his face scrunching up, “Ok, yeah, I didn’t think so. But there is the parade?” 

Bucky had never taken into consideration that Steve would have also been alone on Thanksgiving. Plus, Sam was planning on watching the game with T’Challa, and it did not sound like a fun time watching them switch between screaming at a TV and being all mushy with each other. It was probably more productive for him anyways, rather than rewatching How I Met Your Mother for the third time (even if he had a small thing for Neil Patrick Harris.) 

“Yeah I’ll be there.” Steve’s face lit up. Bucky huffed, looking down back to his coffee and taking a drink before mumbling, “But you better play the Charlie Brown special.” 

“Promise.”

“You like southern food?” Bucky suddenly looked up again. The two of them had been aimlessly walking, and finally found a bench that wasn’t made of metal and therefore wasn’t freezing to sit on. “My grandparents are from the south, and it was my grandpa who taught me how to cook. I kind of got used to southern food on Thanksgiving as opposed to the typical dinner. I was thinking, if you wanted, I could cook up some jambalaya and some mud cake. I’ll bring snacks too, and maybe some potatoes with gravy.”

“I’ll be honest with you Buck, I have no idea what some of what you just said is but I’d love that.” Steve grabbed a leaf that had fallen onto the bench and started picking at it, “I was a little worried that I was going to have to spend the week by myself.” 

“It’s no big deal. Plus you gave me coffee and gave me an excuse to cook my favorite food, so it’s all good.” He gave a warm smile to Steve, who was grinning like he’d won the lottery. Bucky made a mental note to make sure Steve had something to do on Christmas. 

“I’ll text you a time?” Steve asked, standing up. 

“I’ll see you then.” Bucky nodded.

 

-

 

The whole morning had been a complete disaster for Steve. He’d woken up late, causing him to be behind on cleaning and catching a spot in the common area. The way the floor was divided, there was only 2 areas with a TV, and he was determined to get it before anyone else. That was the plan at least until he got to the floor and found what appeared to be two freshman arguing over what to watch. One was a short brunet boy who held the remote to the TV over his head, and the other a shorter girl who was jumping in an attempt to retrieve it.

“You told me I could pick the show!” The girl yelled.

“No, I said you could watch me pick the show.” The girl stopped jumping, narrowing her eyes at the boy before stomping down on his foot with hers. It was at this moment that Steve cleared his throat, catching both of their attentions.

“Look what you did, you caused a scene.” The girl motioned to Steve, leaving the boy to send her a dirty look. Slowly, he lowered the remote, still keeping it pressed to his chest so she couldn’t touch it. “If you’re an RA, you should know it’s not me mistreating your remotes. It’s Peter here who’s holding them hostage.” The boy, Peter’s, eyes widened at the accusations and his mouth fell open in slight betrayal. Steve had seen that look on Clint’s face more times than he could count.

“Not an RA.” Steve shook his head then motioned to the TV, “Just hoping to borrow that actually. I was supposed to be out here like an hour ago to claim the spot, but I woke up late. Normally I wouldn’t even interrupt you but I kind of invited someone to hang out with today. Plus he’s making so much food I’m dying to try. I just don’t want him to get here then be mad that we can’t even do what I promised. You don’t even have to leave, I was just hoping we could watch the Charlie Brown special.” Peter and the girl exchanged a look.

“Food you say? Enough for all four of us and our other friend?” Peter asked. 

“So much food.” Steve confirmed with the nod of his head.

“We’re in.” The girl stuck out her hand, “I’m Shuri by the way.”

“Wait you’re Shuri?” Steve smiled. The girl’s face dropped as he shook the hand she extended.

“That doesn’t sound good. Do I really have that much of a reputation? I gotta cool it with the extracurriculars.”

“No, no nothing like that. I just know your brother. He’s kind of dating my friend’s roommate.” The girl’s eyes lit up, and if Steve wasn’t mistaken, a small hint of mischievousness crept into her smile. 

“So you’re Steve Steve.” She nodded, pulling out her phone and typing something in quickly. Behind her, Peter rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. 

“What does that mean?” Steve mumbled to the boy as he also moved to sit down. Shuri finished typing whatever she was typing and slid her phone into her back pocket. She was a small girl, hardly intimidating, but there was something behind her smile that unnerved Steve just a little. It was not unlike paintings of trickster gods he studied in art history. 

In his pocket, Steve felt the small vibration of his phone, signaling that Bucky had arrived at his dorm building and needed to be let in. Steve relayed that he would be back soon, and ran off to meet Bucky downstairs. Bucky was a sight to behold outside, holding at least 6 containers of food and a small bag full of spices. He only frowned a little when Steve laughed and offered to take some of the food so he could walk up the stairs. 

“Our plans have changed slightly. We’re apparently being joined by three other people, one of which is T’Challa’s sister.” Bucky nodded, a small smile on his mouth.

“That explains a few texts. We’re still watching the Charlie Brown special, right?” Steve nodded. “I have no objections then.” The group rounded the corner to find Peter, Shuri and someone else facing the TV. It was only when Steve got close enough to see who it was that his stomach dropped. Peggy was sitting on the couch, reading a book under a few blankets. She looked as pretty as she ever did, and it was enough to bring Steve to a full stop just as Bucky set the food down on a nearby table. 

“Bucko!” Shuri cheered. 

“I’ll push you out a window.” Bucky narrowed his eyes, but there was no real threat to his voice.

“You have to come meet Peter and Peggy. Her new boyfriend couldn’t make it, but you have us.” She motioned to the two still sitting, and Bucky looked to Steve. It was a look that said, ‘this is her, huh?’ and Steve nodded. Peggy looked up to shake Bucky’s hand, and turned just enough to see Steve still standing frozen. Boyfriend? If she felt the same way he did, she recovered much faster, only looking down for a small moment before planting a smile on her face and setting down her book.

“So, Bucky? How is it you know Steve?” Bucky looked to Steve, raising his eyebrows at him a little. It was a small look, and in hindsight a little bit of a warning for the next words to slip out of Bucky’s mouth. 

“We’re dating.” Shuri, who was taking a drink of apple cider in the corner started choking, and if Steve had a drink he was sure he would have done the same thing. Even Peggy looked like that was the answer she’d been expecting the least and pulled her hand back slowly. “About a month now, isn’t it?” Bucky turned to look at Steve with a sickeningly sweet smile, and Steve couldn’t do much but nod. His brain was still trying to catch up with what exactly just happened. 

“Bitch!” Shuri exclaimed, finally recovered from her coughing fit in the corner, “I’ve been trying to set you up with people for months, why didn’t you say something?” Bucky turned his smile to her, giving her eyes that Steve usually only saw on Natasha that screamed ‘please shut up’. 

“It’s all new. We wanted to wait a while before telling people in case it wasn’t what we wanted.” Bucky had walked back to Steve’s side, wrapping a hand around Steve’s waist, “We’ve never been happier though.” When Steve said nothing, he felt the hand on his hip tighten just a little, snapping him out of his confused daze.

“Right,” he nodded, looking at the boy next to him throwing his arm around Bucky’s shoulders. Steve was almost taken back at the sudden realization that Bucky was actually a fair bit smaller, fitting him perfectly to Steve’s side. Bucky looked up at him for just a moment, his fake smile slipping into a reassuring one before he turned away and clapped his hands. 

“Anyways I have food! Steve, help me unpack?” Steve nodded, following Bucky to the table where he’d sat down all of the food. Bucky huddled close enough to whisper, so not to let the others hear their conversation. “I’m sorry I sprung that on you, I didn’t want to cross any lines. I just heard that she got a new boyfriend and figured you shouldn’t be the only one that has to deal with that stuff. If you wonna call this off I understand.” He placed a small hand on top of Steve’s and gave him a small nod that told him Bucky would follow his lead.

“No, I appreciate it. Thank you.” He was a little taken back when Bucky started the lie, but even he had to admit that it was nice of him to do. There had been times when Steve considered saying he was in a relationship just to prove to Peggy he was ok, but he’d always felt like it would be too sad. Apparently he was given a little miracle by bringing Bucky along today though. “I would have done the same for you if you needed it.” 

Bucky grinned a little and turned, holding up the container of food he’d opened. 

 

-

 

Bucky was surprised at how easy it was pretending to be in a relationship with Steve. The two of them were naturally comfortable around easy other, and it wasn’t too weird when Bucky took up the spot next to him on the couch and sat much closer than he normally would have. Steve was tense next to him, but after a few jokes with Shuri, even he had relaxed, and the group fell into comfortable banter with each other. 

After a few hours of hanging out, Peter, Shuri and Peggy all decided that they should get going and Steve decided to walk Bucky back to his apartment building. It was cool outside, with crisp autumn air biting at their cheeks as they walked. The leaves were all fallen, leaving a dark and lonesome feeling hanging over the campus, but it was almost peaceful. They were the only two walking around, and the sounds of their footsteps echoed on the pavement as they made their way to the other side of the campus. 

“Thank you for that today,” Steve spoke, his face turned upward so he was staring at the sunset that turned the campus into a golden sea. 

“Any time.”

“Really, I owe you one. I don’t talk about it, but Peggy and I ended a lot rougher than most people know. We said it was a mutual, clean break that both of us knew that we needed.” Bucky readjusted the containers in is hands and turned to look at Steve.

“What really happened?” 

“She ended it with me. Told me that she wasn’t ready for the big commitment when she planned to move home and do something great with her life. I guess part of me wasn’t really prepared to hear that she’d already moved on into another relationship right after telling me that she wasn’t ready for ours. I’m not sure how I would have dealt with today if you hadn’t stepped in and said something, so it means more than you think. I mean, you’ve only known me a little while.” Bucky stopped then, setting the containers on the ground and grabbing Steve by his shoulders. 

“Look me in the eyes. I don’t need to know everything about you to know that you’re a good guy Steve. And if it makes you feel better you can always pretend to be my boyfriend if I need it.” That finally got a small laugh from Steve. Bucky pulled his hands back, pulling his sleeves back into place before picking up the containers and continuing to walk. “Besides, this will finally get Shuri off my back for a while. I swear, it’s like I have another Becca running around trying to find me happiness.” 

“Can I be honest?” 

“Only if you’re not about to insult me.” Bucky smiled as Steve let out a chuckle next to him and a puff of air twirled up through the cool air. 

“I’m surprised you’re not with anyone. I don’t mean to sound weird, but you’re not bad looking and you’re funny. You being single just doesn’t make sense I guess.” 

“‘Not bad looking.’” Steve sent him a look, “Thanks. I guess you’re not the only one that had a bad breakup, I guess. I just haven’t really wanted to try again since then. I haven’t found anyone worth trying again for.” He looked down, watching his feet drag on the ground as they finally approached his apartment. 

“I might be a sap, but I think you will.” 

“You think?” They reached the door, and Bucky pulled out his access card to open the door, passing a few containers into Steve’s arms. 

“I know.” Steve nodded. Bucky felt himself smile as the door opened. How someone could be so hopefully all the time, he didn’t understand, but it felt nice to hear someone say that he’d find someone that made him truly happy. He hadn’t had that thought in a long time, but hearing the words brought him just a little hope that maybe everything would work out eventually.

“Maybe.”


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologizes for it being a little bit of a shorter ch but I realize I'm 20k words into this story and haven't even gotten to the main part of it yet.

“I think I’m dying.” Clint announced loudly as he entered the art studio, prompting Steve to remove his earbuds and pause the most recent podcast he’d been listening to. He had been rushing to finish his art pieces, which would be going up the week after they return from Christmas break, and he still had nothing to go off of. He had a few sketches of Brooklyn, or his aunt’s place, and even their dog, but nothing was sticking out to him as something he would want to put up in a gallery for everyone to look at. “I’ve had three finals today. Three Steve. How is that even possible? How did all of my Monday and Wednesday classes land on the same day for finals?”

“Perks of being an art major.” Steve grinned. “All of my finals were two weeks ago. All I have to do now is show up and get my grade.” Clint groaned again and set his bag down on the paint stained floor, taking a seat next to Steve. The art studio was one of Steve’s favorite places on campus, and usually it was pretty empty. This year he’d managed to score one of the four desk spaces in the back of the studio and it was covered in his art. 

“Figure out something for the opening yet?” Clint asked, looking at Steve’s notebook that sat on the desk only for find doodles of Steve himself hitting his head on the wall. “I’ll take these as a no.” 

“I just can’t think of something to paint. Nothing feels right.” 

“Well the gallery theme is color this semester so build on that. Other than that, I’d say just paint what you love Steve. It’ll come to you if you just let go.” Steve nodded, pushing his chair back so he could lift his arms and stretch. Art was really going to be the death of his back. “You’re coming to Nat’s performance, right? I made signs and already have a small group together for when she finishes. We’re gonna go wild.” 

“It’s a ballet performance Clint. Last time you did that they kicked you out.” Steve smiled, thinking back on the performance Nat did of Swan Lake. Clint had only been dating her for a few weeks and the moment she’d finished, he stood up screaming and whistling like crazy. He was promptly removed from the theater and forced to wait outside, but Steve would never forget the look on Natasha’s face when she exited the building. She’d walked right up to him and called him stupid, then she’d kissed him. It was around a year later that she told Steve that was the moment she knew Clint was going to be the boy she married. 

“I don’t care if I’m “banned from the theater” or “not allowed to attend performances.” It’s her last show here, and I have someone sneaking me in from back stage. I then have four small groups of people who are all sneaking in signs and sitting separately. The moment her performance ends we cheer.” He looked wistfully into the air for a moment before turning back to Steve. “So you’re in, right? I need you in the group with Sam and Bucky.” 

“Yeah. Yeah I’m in.” 

 

-

 

Bucky’s phone had already rung four times by the time he picked it up. He’d been in the middle of class the first time, earning a look from Tony, who was still giving him crap even with finals quickly approaching. He’d already signed up for next semester’s classes and he knew if something didn’t change he was going to be dealing with the same stuff again soon. When he finally picked it up as he entered the apartment, he heard a sigh from Becca on the other end.

“I’ve been trying all morning Buck.” 

“Yeah, I noticed. Do me a favor and look at my class schedule I sent you before trying to give me a call next time, would ya? I don’t need you to get me kicked out of class. Now, what the hell is so urgent?” He threw his bag on the couch, sitting down next to it and started unlacing his shoes.

“It’s Ma.” Becca spoke, and immediately Bucky froze. 

“Is she ok?” 

“Yes,” he could practically see her rolling her eyes and waving him off, “other than the fact that she’s out of her damn mind. So she gets home from the store-”

“Becca is this important?” Bucky sighed. He did love his sister but she could talk for hours about pointless things. She’d always had a rambling mouth ever since she learned how to talk. If Bucky had known maybe he wouldn’t have snuck into her room when he was little and tried to get her first word to be his name.

“Yes. Just… ok? So she gets home from the store and starts talking about how she ran into someone she hadn’t talked to in a long time. I didn’t think much of it, because we both know Ma knows everyone and their son. That was until she mentioned you. It wasn’t just someone she hadn’t seen in a while, it was someone you haven’t seen in a long time.” Bucky felt his stomach start to sink when he realized who she must have been talking about. 

“What did she do?”

“She invited him to visit the lake for a few days before Christmas. That’s not all Buck. She said it would be a great opportunity for the two of you to get to catch up. We all know what that’s code for with her.”

“Perfect time to get back together.” Bucky finished for her, rubbing his eyes with his hand. “Did you try to talk her out of it? Tell her that I don’t want to see him?”

“I’m offended you’d think I wouldn’t,” she deadpanned, “but it didn’t work. She thinks it would be good for you to look into getting into a relationship again, and you know how much she loved you two together. She seemed pretty set on this one Bucky. I don’t know how you’re going to get out of this unless you can magically spawn yourself a boyfriend for the holidays to bring home. She wouldn’t listen to rationality.” Bucky sighed, going quiet as he tried to think of a way of getting out of Christmas all together. His mother would fly out herself and hunt him down though. In his hand, his phone buzzed and he lifted it away just enough to see a text from Clint telling him Steve was in for Natasha’s performance. Slowly, he lifted the phone back to his ear and took a breath.

“I have an idea.” 

“Buck you know I love you, but even I won’t help you fake your death. Not close to Christmas anyways. For a birthday perhaps. Of course I would probably get tried for murder, but on the other hand that’s something to do that doesn’t involve student debt so who knows.” 

“That’s option B. Option A is you tell Ma that I have a boyfriend and I’m bringing him home for the holidays. That should get her off my back for now.” The line went quiet for a moment.

“Do you have a boyfriend to bring home? I guess there’s a better question I could ask here. Bucky, if you have a way of spawning a boyfriend out of nowhere you wouldn’t hide that technology from me, would you?” Becca asked, suddenly more interested in his love life than solving the problem with their mother. Bucky rolled his own eyes, and wished that she could see it. If he could go a month without hearing someone tell him that he should be rushing to fall in love, he’d be in heaven. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but it was something that had to come on its own time, not on his.

“No Becca. I do have someone that owes me a favor though. And stop thinking I need to set you up with someone. You’re like ten.”

“I’m seventeen and you know it, asshole.”

“Not to me, dickwad. You’re always going to be an annoying preteen to me and there’s nothing either of us can do about that. It’s just a fact.” She laughed on the other end then went silent for a moment. Bucky always knew that was Becca’s telltale sign that the conversation was about to get serious. She always paused.

“You’re going to keep me in the loop if you do find someone, right? You’re not just going to ignore me the moment you get the fancy job and marry rich?”

“Always Becca. And don’t start that, if anyone is marrying rich we both know it’s you. And when he dies of mysterious circumstances I’ll be there then too.” 

 

-

 

There was a small buzz over the room as everyone took their seats in the theater. The seats themselves were lined with small pamphlets that explained who was performing and when. It was still early, but it looked like it was going to be a large crowd. Steve had quickly found Sam who told him Bucky was running late and the two of them took their seats. Out of the corner of his eyes, Steve was certain he saw Clint sneaking in dressed as a crew member. The dedication he put in to their relationship was ridiculous, but also the sweetest thing Steve had really ever seen.

“She any good?” Sam asked to his side, “I’ve never been to one of these. I was gonna say no, but your roommate is a persuasive guy. Took him like only five minutes to convince me this is how I wanted to spend my night.” 

“I keep saying that. If he wasn’t studying music I’d tell him to become the best damn lawyer I know.” They both laughed a little and the lights started to dim. Beside him, Steve felt Bucky slide into a seat, a small folded poster tucked inside his jacket poking out. He smiled, nudging Steve with his arm just as the lights went off and music started to drift through the room. It was almost pitch black other than the harsh white of the stage lights, which explained the fact that the posters lit up. Natasha walked to the center of the stage all dressed in white before entering her starting pose and Bucky leaned over, whispering in Steve’s ear. 

“Hey I need to ask a favor.” He was trying to keep quiet, but that didn’t stop the lady next to him from sending a look in their direction. It didn’t matter much, seeing as they would probably not be allowed to return after this song finished. If she hated a little whisper, she was going to go nuts when they all jumped up. On stage, Natasha started to move gracefully to the sound of the music, hitting the beat perfectly so she almost looked like a red and white painting. Steve didn’t have a musical bone in his body but there was something breathtaking about the way she moved. He could understand why Clint always snuck into the theater for her. 

“What’s up?” He whispered back to Bucky who was completely missing the show, just staring at Steve instead.

“You said you owed me one after what happened with Thanksgiving. I found a way for you to pay me back.” The music picked up around them and Steve gave a little grin at how well his friend was doing on stage. He was only half listening to what Bucky was saying.

“Yeah sure.”

“I hope you still say that after I ask you for this.” Steve caught the small worry in his voice, turning his attention away from Natasha and to the boy next to him. The lights from the stage were bouncing off his hair and cheek, making him look almost ethereal.   
“What is it?” Just as those words left his mouth the music cut and a scream erupted from the audience to the far right of them. One sign went up, followed by some more, followed by more. Soon, almost 40 people in the audience were all holding signs that read Natasha’s name in sparkling lights and screaming. Steve stood up as well, helping Sam hold up his own sign just as roses from Clint came flying up onto the stage and security started walking into the room. To his side, among the chaos, Steve felt a small tug on his arm.

“I need you to be my boyfriend!” Bucky yelled just loud enough for the sound to get over the cheering. Steve stopped cheering. Security had already reached their row and started ushering them out of the theater. Steve didn’t even have time to think about them getting scolded on the way outside, as Bucky’s favor was still jumping about his mind a million miles an hour. It wasn’t until they reached the small clearing in front of the building that he turned to Bucky who’s just been staring at him with nervous energy.

“What?” Steve managed to finally ask. 

“Just for Christmas. You come with me to New York free of charge for a couple weeks. I need someone and it worked out ok for us last time.”

“Bucky,” Steve sighed, “That was for a few hours. You’re asking me to be your boyfriend for a few weeks.” 

“Fake boyfriend.” Bucky pointed out. “Please. I told you that you weren’t the only one that’s gone through a bad breakup? Well, he’s been invited to Christmas and my mom is trying to set us up again. I will do literally anything for you if you come with me to New York.” Steve looked over his face, frowning and scrunched up. The easy confidence that Steve saw the first time they met was completely gone. Steve knew all too well what a bad breakup could do to you emotionally, and he couldn’t imagine having to go through that emotional over the holidays. He also couldn’t imagine his aunt trying to set him back up with an ex. 

“I do miss the city,” Steve sighed. “Fine. But you owe me.” Bucky didn’t respond, but instead threw his arms around Steve’s shoulders, giving him a hug that was over almost as fast as it started. 

“Anything.” Bucky nodded.


	7. Sept.

Steve’s Aunt was happy for him. She was happy that Steve had finally the courage to go back to New York and someone to take him. Steve wanted to be happy for himself, but he was frantically running around the room the morning of his flight in anxiety because he wasn’t prepared for this. In his head he’d been making up a list of all the reasons this was a bad idea and there’s no way it was going to end well.

1\. He barely knew Bucky: Sure, they’d been friends for a few months now but he was fairly secretive about his home life. He talked about his sister some, and mentioned some siblings, but hadn’t really told Steve much else.

2\. He was terrified to meet Becca: Bucky had only told Steve a few things about his younger sister, and every single one of them told him she was a strong headed girl. 

3\. He was terrified to meet Bucky’s family: *see reason one.

4\. He hadn’t been in a relationship since Peggy.

5\. He hadn’t been back to New York in years. It just felt weird without his parents there beside him.

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Natasha commented from her spot on Clint’s bed. “You’re going to be fine you know. If you’re going to feel sorry for anyone feel sorry for me. I have two weeks with the Barton siblings coming up.” From the bathroom, Clint peaked out his head, a toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

“Theyh arehn dah bah!” 

“Clint, baby, I love you but you’re the least chaotic of your siblings. And when you all get together your forces just combine. The only sane one of you four is your sister.” Clint ducked back into the bathroom and returned a moment later toothbrush free.

“Paige is the worst of any of us.” Clint shook his head and jumped up onto his bed next to his fiancé, who immediately tucked herself into his side like it was second nature. Paige was the oldest of the Barton siblings, followed by Jacob, Anthony, and finally Clint. Steve wasn’t really sure how his mom and dad managed to deal with them all as children. 

“At least you know them.” Steve sighed, remembering to throw the small Christmas gift he got Bucky’s parents into his suitcase. “I know virtually nothing about Bucky’s family except it isn’t small. I don’t even know their names!” Mentally, Steve made a note to remember to ask Bucky what his family member’s names are. 

“I think you’re ignoring the biggest possibility here.” Clint mumbled. “I mean you’ve looked at every possibility on how this trip could go except one. Have you considered that your little crush on Bucky-”

“I don’t have a crush on Bucky.”

“Your little crush on Bucky might actually show itself? What happens if he feels the same way and this holiday trip doesn’t go as badly as you’re building it up to be in your head? Are you going to freak out so much that you stop yourself from enjoying a whole get away to New York with this guy all because you can’t stop thinking about the ways in which this is all going to go badly?” Steve sighed and looked up from his suitcase to his roommate. Natasha had a small smile on her face as she was staring at Clint like he’d just put the stars in the sky. She did that whenever he said the right things.

“That’s not going to happen.” He reached to his desk, grabbing a notebook for Becca and small toys for Bucky’s younger siblings and added them to the bag. He’s packed Bucky’s present early so it wouldn’t get smooshed and put it in his backpack. He’d bought it weeks ago, but he wasn’t going to mention that part to Clint or Natasha. Steve did not have a crush on Bucky, and Bucky definitely didn’t have one on him. This was all supposed to be so that Bucky didn’t have to see his ex again, and Steve got that. This was just one friend helping another and there was nothing wrong with that.

On his bed, Steve’s phone buzzed with a text and he opened it to see a photo of Bucky. He was bundled up in a heavy coat and scarf, his cheeks turning red from the winter air. Behind him, Steve could see his suitcases on the ground. The phone buzzed again with a message that read ‘Let’s go I’m freezing.’ Steve smiled. 

 

-

 

They’d rented a car the moment they got out of the airport, and Bucky immediately cursed the cold. He’d sworn up and down that this was the worst part of New York, other than Times Square on New Year’s, but to Steve it felt like he was home again. He hadn’t seen the city for a long time, and even driving through it to head north brought back a lot of memories that he’d thought he’d forgotten over the years. Bucky seemed to notice, leaving the beginning of the drive to just listen to music and soak up the sights again. Despite his complaints, even he seemed happy to be back home again. 

They’d sat in silence for almost an hour and a half when Bucky finally turned the music down. The closer they got to Bucky’s place, the more nervous Steve felt himself becoming and the more nervous Bucky looked. He was chewing on his bottom lip while Steve patiently waited for him to speak.

“Ok so, I suppose we should get our story straight. How long have we been dating?”

“Four months.” Steve immediately answered, “We should stick as closely to the truth as possible. That gives us a month of getting to know each other before we started to date. The rest of the gaps should fill in as long as we stick to how we actually met and things like that.” 

“Ok. The next thing is my family. My mom and dad will be there. Their names are Winnie and George. My dad’s pretty easy-going but my mom will probably hound you about your life. You already know about Becca. Seventeen, loves music and writing. She’s the only one that knows we aren’t really dating so you can relax around her. Ben in thirteen now and doesn’t talk much. He’s shy, but he’ll warm up to you eventually. Amy is the youngest and turns eight next month, she’s sweet but she gets everything she wants. Something tells me she’s gonna like you.” Steve nodded, trying to commit all their names to memory before they got to the house. This was the most he’d ever heard about Bucky’s family. Sam said that it wasn’t like they disliked each other, they just weren’t super close so Bucky only really contacted them on occasion. 

“Can I be honest? Because I feel like I’m going to puke I’m so nervous.” Bucky stopped chewing on his lip and turned to Steve. He was still driving, so he just reached over and took one of Steve’s hands and turned back to the road.

“I have no doubt in my mind that they’re going to love you. I-… Yeah, they’re gonna love you.” Steve looked down at their hands and in the back of his mind Clint’s comments played again. Bucky was holding his hand, but it wasn’t romantic, it was comforting. He immediately pushed the comments away and looked back at the road in front of them. He had bigger problems to worry about, especially the one of them pulling into a driveway. They were pulling up to a large house next to a lake where Steve could see two children throwing snow at each other in the front yard. 

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“When were you going to tell me you lived next to a lake?” The car came to a halt and the children already stopped their game to greet the two of them. Bucky grinned as he watched them run over and gave a small shrug.

“I don’t. This is the summer home.” It took everything within Steve not to let his jaw drop as Bucky opened the car door. From the front of the house, three other people emerged, and he figured that must have been Becca and his parents coming out to greet them. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, waving to Bucky’s parents. Bucky was already picking up who he assumed must have been Amy and swung her around, making her giggle. They all looked alike, with the same dark brown hair that fell into their eyes just like Bucky’s did when he looked down, even though his hair had been growing out and he could almost pull it back into a hair tie. Ben in particular looked like what Bucky must have when he was younger, the same blue eyes and smile. Even his parents, probably mid-forties by now, looked like their children, just a little worn in the face. 

“Aye Bitch-face!” Becca yelled, only to be hit in the arm by her mother who was staring disapprovingly. She paid no attention to her though, as she took off running towards the car to give her brother a hug. It was nice, seeing all of them together smiling and laughing. For a small moment, he almost felt like he was invading on something that wasn’t his. An outsider in a family reunited. The feeling went away when someone grabbed his shoulder. 

“You must be Steve!” Winnie was already on him, pulling him into a hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ll admit we hadn’t heard much about you before Bucky said you were coming to stay with us for the holidays.” Steve laughed nervously. He thought he was going to have a little time to prepare for this before they started asking questions.

“Yeah, we didn’t want to tell anyone until we were certain that the relationship was serious.”

“What better time than Christmas?” Bucky’s dad chimed in, pulling his wife back gently so he could shake Steve’s hand. Bucky finally pulled himself away from his siblings long enough to make his way over to his parents and say hello, flashing an apologetic look Steve’s way. His mom pulled him into one of those hugs that looked suffocating but in a good way, and Steve almost felt jealous. 

“Why don’t you all come inside where it isn’t so cold and I’ll put on some coffee.” Bucky lit up, following his parents inside as if he was a dog about to get a treat. 

“Want help?” Steve turned to see Becca motioning towards the car where his and Bucky’s suitcases were and nodded. “I’ll try to keep Ma off your guy’s backs, but I can’t promise she won’t try to hound you at dinner.” 

“Thanks.” 

“So what did he say to convince you to do this? I know you owe him one but I can’t imagine that’s all you get out of staying with the Crazy Bunch for a few weeks.” She gave him a warm smile as she pulled Bucky’s suitcase from the car. Despite her kindness, Steve still got the feeling that this was her own way of seeing if Steve was an ok guy. 

“Actually, I didn’t mind coming all that much. I know that sounds weird but I grew up here and it feels nice to be home. I’m nervous, don’t get me wrong, but I was happy to do this for Bucky. Wouldn’t chose to be in a fake relationship with anyone else.” She looked him over for a moment, searching for something in his face and nodded to herself.

“We’ll see how you feel after being around us for a few hours. Until then let’s just get through dinner.” He nodded and smiled, hoping he passed whatever test that was. He didn’t even think Becca would have a test for being in a fake relationship. It must be nice to have someone want to watch over you so fiercely. 

Inside, the house was even nicer. It was obviously built for the summer, with light and brightly colored interior, but it was completely decorated for Christmas. Upon entering, the stairwell heading upstairs was wrapped with garland and lights. To his right, the kitchen and living room glowed softly from the tree and all of the small decorations laid out. It looked like one of those catalogue homes you’d see in a magazine or on TV. 

“Oh shit the bags,” Bucky exclaimed, holding a cup in his hands as he ran over. “I’m so sorry. They distracted me.” He held up the cup and Steve couldn’t help but smile.

“Your one weakness.” Bucky grinned, setting the cup down on a nearby table and moved to take off Steve’s coat. It was nice and warm inside, a nice contrast to the air biting at your skin outside. Colorado could be cold for the winter, but there was nothing quite like the New York air. 

 

-

 

Becca hadn’t stopped staring at him since her and Steve got inside. She had that look of smugness that screamed ‘I know something you don’t’ and it had been driving him mad for the past 40 minutes. Dinner had been going along smoothly, and Bucky was kind of relieved that no one had asked them anything for a while. It was just that damned stare that was driving him nuts. What the hell had they talked about outside?

“So,” Bucky’s mom stared, and he internally braced himself. “Steve, what’s your major?” Not too bad.

“I’m a studio art major. I mostly focus on painting, and I actually have a big exhibition coming up. It could be a good chance for me to sell some of my stuff. I’ve just been having a few setbacks.” Bucky’s mom raised her eyebrows and Bucky couldn’t help but smile. Steve was already a natural with them. “I don’t actually have any finished pieces. I started one before we left, but it took me a while to find something that fit the theme I wanted.” 

“What’s your theme?” Becca asked, stuffing her face with corn. Bucky rolled his eyes and Steve glanced over at him.

“Love and family.” 

“Oh, that’s such as sweet topic. When you finish the pieces, you have Bucky send me a photo of them. I’d love to see them even if we can’t make it out to Colorado for the gallery.” Silence fell over the table for a moment and that smile fell back onto Becca’s face. She was calculating something in her head all right, and it wasn’t going to be good. 

“How’d you two get together anyways?” She grinned. Bucky reached out and kicked her under the table, only making her frown at him before turning to their parents, who waited patiently for the story of how they met. 

 

-

 

Steve glanced at Bucky, who’d very obviously just kicked his sister under the table, but no one else seemed to notice. They said that they were going to stick as closely to the truth as possible, but how close that was he never really thought about. Thankfully, it was Bucky that spoke up first, letting him breathe a moment of relief. 

“Well,” Bucky smiled, reaching out and taking Steve’s hand on the table, “we met at Rowdy’s. Technically we met at a party in a bathroom, but we didn’t talk much then. When I actually got to meet him, I was having a particularly bad day and wanted a coffee at my favorite place. I go to my table, and Steve is sitting there drawing away, and I sat down across from him and refused to move. A normal person I think would have gotten fed up with me after that. Steve on the other hand, just kept drawing. I guess somewhere between listening to music and staring at the guy across from me, I realized I wanted to see him again.” The group turned to Steve.

“I thought he lied to me.” He laughed, catching them all off guard. “I thought he lied about his name because I didn’t know it was a nickname. I wasn’t mad that he came up and took the spot across from me though. I just drew him because he looked nice next to the window.” Bucky’s mom gave a small awe noise and Steve turned to look at Bucky who’d let go of his hand to fight Becca for some potatoes and added another reason to the list of why this weekend wasn’t going to go well at all. 

 

6\. He was completely gone on Bucky Barnes.


	8. Huit.

Steve was freaking out a little. Ok, Steve was freaking out a lot, and his brain wasn’t helping at all. It was freezing cold outside and dark as hell, but he stood in the back yard, overlooking a lake as he waited for Natasha to pick up her phone. If there was one person that could smack some sense into him and tell him that he wasn’t in love with Bucky, it’d be here. She was great at telling people when they were just caught up in the moment and weren’t really experiencing what they thought they were experiencing. She just needed to pick up so that he could freak out.

Inside, they others were curled up on the couch, all competitively playing games on the Switch. Bucky had absolutely no mercy on anyone but Amy, who won every game against the others so they wouldn’t upset her. He was definitely taking joy in demolishing the rest of them though, especially in Mario Kart. It was sweet, the way he interacted with his family. He let go around them and was just himself. And God, Natasha really needed to pick up the phone. 

“Heyo Cap,” she finally answered, always with the same nickname. 

“I’m freaking out Nat.” He wrapped his arms tighter around himself and leaned against a tree that felt like a block of ice. 

“It’s nice to talk to you too. Clint’s great, and so is his mother. Did I mention she’s taking me dress shopping tomorrow? If I’m in China by then, let Clint know it wasn’t his fault and I love him.” He could hear the exhaustion in her voice, but that was to be expected. She was staying with the Barton family, and they were known to be a lot to deal with. Clint and his siblings were a terrifying force that wasn’t to be messed with. 

“Nat, I’m serious. I’m actually freaking out right now and I need you to tell me that it’s just in my head and that I’m caught up in the moment.” He heard her let out a sigh on the other end, followed by some shuffling he assumed was her walking to another room.

“I told Clint he shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“Wait, how did you know-”

“Hun, I’ve known you for a few years now. I also know Clint like the back of my hand. I told him not to say something, and he did. Do you know why I told him not to say anything Steve?” 

“No.” He had a feeling she was about to tell him anyways.

“Because the moment someone points something out to you, it’s all you see. I’m not going to tell you that what you’re feeling is in your head, because it’s not. Every single one of us could tell you liked him after you guys met. If we had brought it up though, you would have gone into denial followed by panic. I see you reached stage two already though.” In the background, people were laughing and something loud like glass shattering brought on another sigh from her. “Look, you need to figure out if you want to act on this, and do something.” 

“It’s not that easy Nat. How do I just tell Bucky that?” 

“Tell me what?” A voice behind him almost made Steve throw his phone towards the lake in pure reflex. Instead, he opted for just hitting the end call button as fast as he could and turning to face Bucky. He would apologize to Natasha later. Bucky was holding out Steve’s winter coat, his own face half covered by the hood of his.

“That… you suck at Switch!” He took the coat from Bucky’s hand and slid it on, sighing at the immediate warmth. 

“Excuse me?” Bucky’s face scrunched up in confusion and a little bit of betrayal.

“Yeah. Nat thinks that Sam is better and said I should tell you, but I know how passionate about the game you are so it didn’t feel right.” The look of betrayal on his face intensified, but he didn’t seem to have heard any other part of the conversation. 

“Nat can fight me.” He bunched himself up further into his jacket and walked so he was standing next to Steve, looking out over the lake. It was beautiful at night; it almost seemed to fade into the blackness of the evening. The only light was that coming from houses on the other side of it, but they were small twinkles against the expanse of the frozen water. “Why are you out here? It’s freezing and you’ve missed like two turns. Of course, Amy took them and she’s winning, so maybe you’ll be in better standing if you keep letting the seven year old play.” Steve reached out, pushing him a little.

“I wanted to get some fresh air is all. It’s been a crazy day and I think I needed a moment to process.” Bucky smiled, shuffling so that he was next to Steve again, and leaned his head on his shoulder. 

“I haven’t seen the lake in a while. I think it’s my favorite part of coming home, other than seeing the kiddos.” He let out a small laugh and his breath swirled up through the air in front of them. “When I was thirteen I snuck out in the middle of the night to walk around the lake, and wound up staying out until sunrise. I had my first kiss that night, and that how I met my ex. Of course, when I got back in the morning Ma had freaked out on me, saying that she’d been looking for me for an hour. She didn’t tell anyone else, but I think she never forgave me for scaring her like that.”

“She loves you a lot.”

“Yeah. Sometimes I wish she’d ease up a bit. Then I wouldn’t have had to kidnap you from your Aunt for Christmas.” Right. Steve wouldn’t be here if Bucky hadn’t needed someone to get his mom off his back. This was pretend and not anything more. He nodded, shifting his body so Bucky was forced to lift his head, and turned back to the house.

“Come on, they’re gonna wonder where we went.”

 

-

Steve was being weird. Weirder than he normally was at least. He’d been completely fine at dinner, but his mood had shifted after that. He’d been quieter, even when they were all playing games on the couch. It was only after he’d disappeared for a while that Bucky’s mom gave him the look and he knew he hadn’t imagined the shift in mood. It was that ‘go check on him’ look that he’d always gotten after he fought with his siblings growing up. 

He’d heard Steve on the phone for long enough to know that he wasn’t talking about games either. There was no doubt that he was talking to Natasha, but whatever they were discussing, it wasn’t that. Steve had sounded serious, and for a while, Bucky had even considered leaving him and going back inside. That was until he heard his name of course. Whatever it was that Steve was keeping from him, it didn’t sound good. Even now, as they shuffled into their room, Steve was still being quiet. If anything, his mood had gone down even more since the phone call. Before it was a jittery energy, but now he’s just quiet.

“I’m going to sleep for the rest of the month,” Bucky sighed, falling face first onto the bed riddled with plush blankets so that he was lying across it. From behind him, he could hear Steve chuckle softly and unzip his bag to grab something. Bucky was too exhausted to look to see what it was though, favoring the comfort that he got out of lying face down and lightly suffocating himself with blankets. If there was something he should be concerned about, it could wait until he’d gotten some sleep. All the traveling and family had been so much, and his ex hadn’t even shown up yet. Once again, that was a problem for another time though.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a coma.”

“It sounds delightful. I’ve been meaning to try one of those since I graduated high school.” He yawned, rolling over so he was facing the ceiling and threw his arm over his eyes to shield them from the light. Everyone else had already headed off to bed for the night, leaving them to go off towards their own room. “I think I’ll just start that now.” 

“Could I convince you to at least move over so I can lay down and put on a movie?” It was a tempting offer, laying down and watching a movie on Steve’s laptop. He could maybe even pass out while the movie was playing so neither of them had to deal with the awkward ordeal of figuring out how to sleep in the same bed. On the other hand though, he’d already flopped himself down and had no intentions of getting back up.

“No.” Steve laughed again and walked off to the bathroom that was attached to the room to change. It was so quiet by the lake that it made Bucky miss the sounds of crickets it brought in the summer. He never got to hear them at the college or when they stayed in the city, but out here he could enjoy the sounds of silence only interrupted by his own breath. There were no crickets on this cold night though. All he heard now was the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing, followed by the sound of the lights being turned off.  
“You’re really not going to move?” 

“No.” He mumbled, sitting up anyways. Steve grinned and crawled into the bed, setting his laptop beside him as Bucky let his own head fall back down onto Steve’s lap. “Move it where I can watch too.” Steve paused, and for a moment he thought maybe he’d crossed a line he hadn’t even thought of by lying on him. They’d never really talked about how close was too close. Bucky had always just been the clingy and cuddly friend that would, given the opportunity, throw himself on someone. He was getting ready to sit back up when Steve turned the laptop a little and clicked on some crappy Netflix Christmas movie that had already been streaming for over a month. It was one of those ones where the woman from the big city and a guy she barely knows fakes a relationship, and you just know it will lead to a grand romance. A little cliché for Bucky’s taste, but even he could appreciate the irony of it right off the bat. It was close to their own story, except for the grand romance part that is. Of course, Bucky could do a lot worse than Steve.

Only 15 minutes into the movie, Bucky felt a hand mindlessly comb through his hair and let out a content sigh. Normally he hated watching these sort of things, but he hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages. Maybe he would get with Steve, if it meant someone was going to play with his hair more often. It wasn’t until the couple started gaining feelings for each other that he broke the silence.

“Steve?” He yawned.

“Hm?” He hand on his hair paused for a moment, and started again when Bucky made a noise of protest. He pointed at the screen and smiled.

“Don’t fall in love with me, ok?” He whispered jokingly. 

“Wouldn’t think of it.”


	9. Neuf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry about the gap this story took. I went home for the holidays and I was originally going to write, but with my older brother flying in from Japan I wanted to spend more time with my family. I would have updated after that but I got a little distracted by My Chemical Romance being back and trying to get tickets! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and thank you for sticking around. 
> 
> -Misha

Morning sun creeped into the room as Bucky blinked open his eyes. It should have been freezing to him, as it was every other time he’d slept in this room in the winter. Instead, he just felt warm, because Steve had curled up behind him and had an arm thrown lazily over his waste. Normally the intimacy of their position would have sent Bucky running for the hills. With Steve it just felt right though. Perhaps this was like the time that he and Sam had fallen asleep on the couch together, and they were just so comfortable with each other it wasn’t weird. Or maybe there was a part of Bucky that liked the feeling of Steve sleeping next to him… 

Bucky’s eyes snapped open at the thought, and suddenly the warmth from Steve was a little too much to take. He gently pulled Steve’s arm off him and slid out of the bed into the cold room, and quickly made a line for the door. He needed coffee. Maybe he was just up too late watching that movie, and in his tired state was thinking delusional thoughts. 

When he got to the kitchen, Becca was already awake, sitting at the kitchen island drinking tea. It didn’t seem like anyone else had gotten up yet. There was no sound of their mom doing laundry, or their dad’s morning sports, or their siblings playing. It was just silence and the sound of a coffee maker, and it was just what Bucky needed.

“Morning,” Becca smiled, always the morning person. Bucky grunted in response to her as he searched for his favorite mug. He was not as fond of mornings. This didn’t seem to deter her though, as she continued to speak over her cup.

“How was your night with dreamboat?”

“Don’t call him that.” Bucky’s face scrunched up at the awful nickname. She was using the silence as a perfect opportunity to torment him.

“So are you going to actually start dating him at some point orrrr… because he’s super attractive, and really funny and-”

“Chill, child. You sure it’s not you who has a crush on him here?” He didn’t need to turn and face her to see that she was giving him an unimpressed look. He heard her set down her cup of tea and when he turned, she was watching him with her hands folded neatly under her chin. She looked like their mother when she did that. 

“You didn’t let me finish.” Bucky sighed and waved his hand in a motion for her to continue as he grabbed his coffee and made his way to the island to join her. “He may be all those things, but most importantly, I think he likes you for real.” The words made Bucky’s stomach turn, but he couldn’t put a finger on the exact emotion he was feeling. His fresh cup of coffee sat before him as his nerves woke him up instead.

“You’re seeing things.” He finally settled on, not looking Becca in the eyes. 

“You’re right, I’m seeing what you refuse to. Look, I get it. You had a bad relationship with Miah, and I understand why you wouldn’t want to risk it. I don’t think that Miah should be forgiven for what he did either. What I do know is that Steve hasn’t once been uncomfortable around you, and he lit up when he told us how you met.” She reached out slowly and put a hand on top of his. “You can’t keep thinking that everyone is going to hurt you like that again. If you do you’ll only set yourself up to get your heart broken every time you let someone in. You’re setting him up to get his heart broken if you keep pretending too.” Becca was like their mom in a way; she would meddle and interfere with other’s relationships but it was moments like this where they differed. Becca never wanted to just see Bucky in a relationship. She wanted to see him happy and loved, and for that he could appreciate her sentiment. 

“Thank you, Becca, and when the right person comes, I will let them in. I just don’t think it’s gonna be Steve. He’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend.” She pulled her hand back and sighed, picking up her drink again. Now she looked like their dad, scrunching up her nose when she thought. It was a habit all the siblings had picked up on. 

“I think in a way no one forgets someone they loved Bucky, but that doesn’t lessen our capacity to love someone else.” From the living room a door opened, and both siblings watched as their dad came out of their parent’s bedroom. Silence fell over them again, and the conversation ended, leaving Bucky with what she said. 

 

-

 

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Bucky looked over at Steve with a taunting smile. “You can still back out if you’re not ready to get your ass kicked.” He looked sweet with his scarf tied up almost to his mouth and his hair, longer now, falling into his face. His cheeks were blotchy and pink from the nip in the morning air, and for a split second all Steve could think of was what it might be like to kiss Bucky Barnes. 

“I was born ready.” Bucky’s grin grew wider as he finished lacing up his ice skates and stood. It was obvious that each of the Barnes siblings grew up ice skating, as even little Amy was even gliding by on the ice with her mother. Each one of them had practically vibrated with excitement when Ben has suggested they all go to skate after breakfast. Bucky himself moved backwards, hands on his hips while he waited for Steve to stand up. Steve had been ice skating two times in his life, and it was evident when he finally stepped off the bench near the lake and onto the frozen water. Almost immediately he teetered to the side, almost falling over. 

“I thought you said you were born ready,” Bucky grinned. Steve noted the small dimples that formed in his cheeks when he smiled. 

“It’s been a few years,” Steve huffed. He swayed his arms a little, finally managing to stand back up and get his bearings. Bucky only laughed and closed the distance between them, offering his hand for Steve to take. 

“C’mon. I won’t make you embarrass yourself and try to race Ben or anything. We can skate to the other dock and you can figure out how to place your feet and stop easier.” Reluctantly, Steve placed his hand in Bucky’s and allowed the boy to start to pull him. They were moving slow enough that Steve was able to figure out how to push his feet and not rely on Bucky to pull him across the lake. It’s not that he was uncoordinated, it just took a moment for his body to remember what his aunt had taught him about moving on ice. 

“Thank you by the way.” Bucky finally spoke as the two of them made their way around the edge of the lake towards the other dock. It had started to snow a little, with light flakes falling onto Bucky’s hair. “You’ve been great with my whole family. They all really like you, especially Becca.” Steve tripped a little, only to feel Bucky’s hand tighten on his own to keep him steady. “Turn your toe out a little more.” 

“You care a lot about what she thinks.” Bucky nodded.

“I know it’s super cheesy, but she’s the most important person to me. For some reason, I wanted her to like you, even if we are just pretending. I wanted her to know that I had someone good in my life, someone more than her and Sam.” His voice had quieted a little, and Steve wasn’t sure if it was because they were no longer surrounded by screaming children or because he was sharing something personal. When he stopped talking, the only sound around them was the soft swish of the blades on the ice. The snow had muffled all the distant sounds of roads and animals, leaving them in their own hushed area.

“I don’t think it’s cheesy at all. I wish I had something like you two do. All I ever wanted growing up was a brother or a sister I could turn to, and I never got that. If anything, I’m a little jealous of what you guys have. The closest I’ve come is what I have with Nat and Clint.” Bucky looked up, smiling at him with those dimples and baby blue eyes. It was enough to distract him so that his skate caught a small pebble, sending them both to the ground. 

Steve twisted, hitting the ground with a thud, only to pull Bucky down on top of him. Falling on ice never felt great, but having someone landing on him was enough to knock the breath out of Steve. Bucky let out a small huff as well, only for them to open their eyes and realize they were only a few inches apart, with Steve’s hand still holding onto Bucky’s. Almost immediately, Bucky started to laugh, sending them both into a fit of giggles. It was a stupid thing to be laughing at, but with no one else to see them thanks to the surrounding bushes, they could mock their own clumsiness. 

“You’re gonna wind up killing us both,” Bucky managed to get out between laughs. He dropped his head so that his forehead landed on Steve’s chest. It was one of those laughter’s that only got funnier the more one of them tried to calm down, and eventually they were both laying there with tears in their eyes. It was Bucky that moved first, placing a hand on either side of Steve and pushing himself so that he was standing up again. He offered Steve a hand, which he graciously accepted and allowed himself to be pulled up so that the two of them were smiling and laughing and staring into each other’s eyes. 

Something about the mood around them shifted the moment the giggles had died down. Instead, they were just breathing heavily and watching each other with wondering eyes and a smile still on their faces. Bucky was holding both of Steve’s hands to steady him, and for just a moment it seemed like he was searching Steve’s face in the same way Steve was searching his. Like he was looking for something more. Like he was trying to figure out what to say or do.

It felt like electricity flew through Steve’s veins when Bucky dropped one of his hands and softly brought his cold fingers to the side of Steve’s cheek. 

The silence of the winter air turned loud with the sound of Steve’s heart that seemed to want to jump right out of his chest. It was so loud he was sure even Bucky could hear its quickened pitter patter. Almost on instinct, Steve leaned into the fingers only grazing his face. Was it possible that even Bucky had stopped pretending for the moment? Was it possible that Bucky had also started to lean in and Steve wasn’t just imagining it? They were so close to just ending this whole deal, to Steve telling him how he felt, just as a voice called out a single phrase. 

“Miah’s here!” 

And Bucky pulled away. His eyes were wide, like he’d just realized he left the oven on. Or maybe it was the shock of his mother calling out that his ex had just arrived. It didn’t seem to lessen the sting or the drop Steve felt in his stomach as he pulled his hand out of Steve’s and nodded back to the rest of the group.

“C’mon. It’s show time.”


	10. Dix.

Bucky felt like he was going to throw up, but from what, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was because the one person he’d spent years avoiding had just shown up at his house. The same person he bore his soul to, only for everything to crash down around him in one giant whirlpool of pain. Maybe it was because after everything Miah did, his mom still wanted them to be together. She believed that people could change even after she’d spent hours consoling her heartbroken son his junior year of high school when he couldn’t stop crying. Maybe it was that despite everything, she still had an idea of what her son’s perfect life should look like. Or maybe it was because despite all the shit they were about to walk into, he couldn’t stop thinking about Steve trailing less than a foot behind him no matter how close he was to falling on those skates. A small part of Bucky was trying his hardest to go faster, just skate away from the boy with the blue eyes. The other part of him wanted to pull Steve back out to those damn bushes and kiss him like he’d wanted to; like he was going to. 

Whatever he was feeling for Steve, there must have been a part of him that felt it too. No one had ever looked at Bucky like that before. No one had ever stared at him like they were trying to search his eyes and find his soul in there. That thought alone made Bucky’s heart beat even faster. He knew his face was turning red, but he could always play it off on how fast he was skating. Hell, maybe part of it was how long it’d been since he did any cardio. 

In front of him, he could see Miah walk out to the edge of the dock, the sun bouncing off his brown leather jacket and sunglasses. His blonde hair was longer than the last time Bucky had seen him, with it falling softly into his face in gentle curls. When it was short, Bucky’s mom had always said Miah looked like James Dean. Somehow, even though they were older now, he’d still managed to retain that boyish look. 

When Miah saw him, he flashed a wide smile a lifted his arm, waving it in a few large motions. For some reason, that was enough to make Bucky stop. He was no longer able to hide himself from his past, and that brought the present smacking right into him. Steve hadn’t quite gotten the hang of stopping, causing him to slam into Bucky’s back, almost taking them both out. 

“Shit, sorry,” he heard Steve mutter behind him. Bucky snapped out of his panic, only to turn and grab Steve’s hand, steadying them both. For a split second, Bucky was certain he watched Steve give a sigh of relief. He was probably just thankful that he didn’t have to try to keep up anymore. It was cut off by him turning to the shore and seeing Miah. “That him?”

“That’s him.” Bucky breathed. The sickness in his stomach was staring to rise again, and suddenly Bucky felt like that sixteen-year-old boy standing in the middle of the hall again. The only grounding he had came from Steve, gently squeezing his hand. 

“Well, let’s do this thing.” He whispered. Bucky looked up at him, only to receive a warm smile. If a puppy could have been a person, it would have been Steve Rogers. Miah might have been James Dean, but Steve was the boy next door. He was the one that wasn’t going to break Bucky’s heart. Hell, even if he was still hung up on Peggy, he was still willing to miss Christmas at home just to help him out. The sickness was mingled with the overwhelming appreciation that Bucky felt for Steve in that moment. He squeezed his hand back. 

“Yeah. Let’s do this.” 

-

Bucky’s mom liked Steve, that much he knew. She was friendly, laughed with him, and even told him that she was so glad he came out. Most parents liked Steve anyways, so he wasn’t too worried about her disliking him. If she did like Steve though, she loved Miah. He was charming from the start, pulling out gifts for each of the kids and Bucky’s parents the moment that he walked inside with his suitcase. For a second, it seemed like everyone in the family was utterly charmed by this guy. Thankfully, Becca was as loyal as ever, looking thoroughly unimpressed with the guitar pics he gave her. Bucky had mentioned on their way over that Becca was interested in playing guitar, but she was loyal enough to hide any gratefulness and send Miah daggers instead. In that moment, Steve decided that she was his favorite among Bucky’s family. They should have all been as loyal as she was. 

Bucky himself didn’t say much as the family chatted with Miah in the living room. He seemed almost stunned, and hadn’t stopped biting his bottom lip since they sat down. Steve had led them both to the smaller seat so that Bucky wouldn’t be sitting alone in one of the chairs. He’d developed a death grip on Steve’s hand, and it didn’t seem to be lessening up anytime soon. Whatever this guy did to Bucky, Steve figured must have been bad enough to completely shrink this confident boy. He was always so sure of himself. What other type of person walks up to someone in a diner and tells them to move because they’d taken his spot? Certainly not anyone else that Steve knew. Now though, Bucky was barely able to speak a word. His leg kept bouncing up and down on the ground, with his knee knocking into Steve’s own leg and he didn’t even seem to notice. For the first time since Steve had met Bucky, he was truly nervous.

“So, Stan,” Miah began, flashing that same smile that seemed to be hypnotizing the Barnes family. 

“Steve.” 

“Sorry, Steven. How did you and James meet?” It was weird hearing Bucky’s real name uttered into the air. Bucky seemed to almost turn in on himself at the gesture, and for a split second, all Steve could feel was pure hatred for this guy. 

“We met at a café. Our favorite café. Not sure you’d know it though, as I’m sure you’ve never been invited over to the college, right?’ Miah’s eyes flashes with something that Steve assumed was anger, but he didn’t let it faulter his smile. 

“Well, you know I met Bucky right before our junior year of high school. We’ve known each other for quite some time now. You could even say we were high school sweethearts for a while.” Steve opened his mouth to speak, but a soft scoff from Bucky interrupted him. He was still squeezing Steve’s hand, but his foot had stopped moving and his face was filled with more rage than anything. 

“James, hun, stop that. You’re being rude to our guest. You haven’t seen him in a while. Why don’t you try talking to him?” Bucky’s mom was holding a tight smile on her face that Steve knew all too well. It was the same look his own mother and aunt had given him his whole life. It was the look that screamed ‘I need you to stop acting this way’. That seemed a little unfair to Steve though, for Bucky to have to be the silent one here. Steve’s family had done a lot of awful things, as most families do, but none of them would ever have thought to make Steve sit in a room with his ex and be civil about it. 

“That’s gold,” Bucky let out a laugh that seemed more cruel than anything. His mother moved to speak again, but by then Bucky had already stood up to walk outside. Steve was already moving to stand up when he felt Becca’s hand on his arm stopping him. 

“He runs when he’s angry. He’ll be back later when he’s cooled down a little.” She whispered to him just enough so that the others couldn’t hear her. “He’ll want you to be here when he gets back, trust me He’ll be thankful to have someone on his side for once.” 

 

-

 

Lack of cardio was the least of Bucky’s worries when he finally got back to the house. Almost and hour and a half had passed and if it wasn’t from running, the cold had completely numbed his limbs. His parent’s car was out of the driveway, so a least they were gone, and maybe if he was lucky they took Miah with them. All he wanted was to enjoy his vacation. Thoughts of vacation brought on more guilt, as he remembered that Steve had taken the time to be here and Bucky had completely abandoned him with his family. The house was silent when Bucky walked inside. A text on his phone he’d ignored told him his family had left twenty minutes ago to get lunch.

He was expecting Steve to have gone with them, but when he entered their room, Steve was sitting on the bed drawing. He was so engulfed in his own world he didn’t even notice that Bucky had entered the room at first. In that moment he looked just like he did when the two of them had just met for the first time. He was so focused and quiet. Bucky even noted that he scrunched up his nose when he was drawing in concentration. It was the small laugh that Bucky gave that ultimately snapped Steve out of his trance. He set down the sketchbook next to him on the bed, and before Bucky could react, crossed the room and brought him into a hug. 

“What’s this for?” Bucky whispered, slowly bringing his arms up to hug Steve back. Unlike out at the lake, they really were alone now. He didn’t have to worry about putting on a show or pretending like he’d been dating Steve for the past few months. Here, in this moment, they could just be them. 

“You’re shivering.” Steve responded. 

“Yeah,” Bucky’s body was finally trying to heat it self up now that he’d stepped into a warmer environment. “You’re hugging me because I’m cold?”

“No.” Steve pulled back a little so he could look Bucky in the eyes. “I’m hugging you because you seemed like you needed it. You shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable in your own home Bucky. If you want to leave we could go right now and just spend Christmas at my aunts. No Miah and no parents. We can just run away.” Even though they were the only two in the house, Steve still whispered so that it really felt like a secret just between the two of them. 

“You have no idea how much I want that,” Bucky groaned and dropped his head forward so his forehead was pressed against Steve’s chest. “I can’t do that to Becca and the others though.” He felt Steve’s hand reach up and rest itself on his head. The gesture almost immediately relaxed him a little. 

“Why don’t you go take a shower and warm up, and I’ll find something we can watch that’ll cheer you up?” Bucky nodded at the idea, slowly standing up again. Steve was staring at him with that soft smile again, and Bucky wasn’t sure if it was the run or the smile that made his legs feel weak. 

“You’d really just run away with me?” He mumbled, trying to ignore the beating he felt in his chest. Maybe Becca had it wrong. Maybe Steve wasn’t gone for him, but one thing was for certain. Bucky had never felt more love for someone in his life then he did for Steve when he uttered his next few words. 

“Anytime you want.”


	11. Onze.

It was hard not to feel weird about everything. Just what was the proper protocol for breakfast with your ex, your fake boyfriend, and your family? If there was a manual somewhere, Bucky would have killed for it right about now. The room was quiet, with glares coming from his sister and Steve to over to the other side of the table where his other family sat with Miah. He looked smug, like he knew a secret no one else did. It made Bucky sick to his stomach. The only thing keeping him grounded was Steve’s knee pressed against his in a reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere. 

The sentence he’d told Bucky last night kept replaying in his head and Bucky wondered if he’d meant it. If he asked right now, would Steve just up and run away with him? That seemed like an awfully large promise to make someone you’ve only known a few months. Then again, they were already pretending to be in love, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they just kept pretending. That thought was almost enough to cause Bucky to drop his head onto the table. Becca would laugh if she knew what she did to him when she brought up the possibility of Steve liking him. He was one of those people that never got a crush unless it was pointed out to him that someone may like him. It was only then that his own repressed feelings would smack down on him like a ton of bricks. Is that what this was? A crush?

“James are you ok?” His mother asked in concern. Bucky had only been barely picking at his food, too caught up in his thoughts. All he could do was nod. Everyone had turned to look at him, including Steve who only pressed his knee a little closer to Bucky’s. God, these school girl emotions were gonna be the death of him.

“Well, now that we’re all here and have had some time to recuperate from travel, I suppose I should tell you all…” Miah interrupted. “You’ve all been invited down the road for our annual Christmas Ball. It’s black tie as always, but this year we have an appearance by some members of state who are just dying to try your dip Winnie. I hope you’ll all come.” Bucky’s mom practically jumped out of her seat at the idea of government officials trying her dip, but Bucky knew it was a ploy. He held eye contact with Bucky as he spoke his last sentence. His mom was just a tool to ensure that they’d be going after all. 

“Looking forward to it,” Steve spoke up from beside him, placing a hand on top of Bucky’s. He could almost see the flames in Miah’s eyes, and for that he was thankful. He didn’t even think about it when he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Steve’s cheek. It was only when they both froze that he’d realized what he did. Becca was already buzzing in her seat, but all Bucky could focus on was the stunned look on both his and Steve’s faces. 

Ok. So, he’d kissed Steve’s cheek in front of his whole family. It was only on the cheek though. His own grandma kissed him on the cheek every time they said goodbye. It could be taken as purely platonic. On the other hand, he’d never platonically kissed anyone as far as he knew. Steve’s surprised face was enough to tell him that it was not a normal friend thing to do. If this was Clint sure, but Clint was affectionate with everyone. Crap, the red slowly creeping up his neck wasn’t helping the situation any. 

He snapped his head back to the table and stared down at his food. He wasn’t even hungry, but still he forced himself to pull his hand away from Steve and start eating. He had to do something with it so it wasn’t weird that he pulled away. Who was he kidding? It was already weird. Even now, Steve was still staring at him with an expression that made it look like he was buffering. If he didn’t stop, everyone was going to figure out that was the closest they’d ever come to a kiss in their “four months” of dating. Bucky quickly thought an apology and kicked Steve just hard enough in the ankle to snap him out of it.

Everyone was still staring at them. 

“I think I’m gonna go shower.” Bucky nodded to himself, pushing his food away from him. Eating fast on a disagreeing stomach wasn’t his brightest idea. He already knew he’d feel awful in twenty minutes. His mother only nodded, only half paying attention when Steve also stood up awkwardly. Everyone stopped and turned to him now, causing his own face to turn bright red.

“I’ll come with!” He sputtered, only making the situation worse. Becca immediately started choking on her orange juice. It was only when he realized what he said that he awkwardly turned and walked from the kitchen, leaving Bucky to follow quickly behind. He was only praying, much to his imagination, that it was only his family that had head the awkward encounter. 

“I’m so sorry, I panicked.” The moment that Bucky closed their bedroom door behind them, Steve turned around apologetically. His face was similar to the shade of a tomato, and if Bucky wasn’t thoroughly embarrassed he might have laughed at the situation. 

“I’m sorry I kissed you, I wasn’t even thinking and I just…” Bucky himself trailed off as he made eye contact with Steve. Almost immediately, both of their faces lit up red again. “I know we didn’t talk about how affectionate we should be towards each other.” Steve sighed and backed up so he was sitting on the bed. 

“Really, I didn’t mind. It caught me off guard was all.” 

“Oh.” Bucky let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding and moved to sit down next to Steve. The room was still quiet, but it was almost too quiet now. He was so used to loving the silence, but now it felt like it had settled uncomfortably on top of the two of them. It felt like hours passed before Steve finally spoke again with a slight laugh.

“I think I almost killed Becca.” The sentence sent them both into a laughing fit, with the images of poor Becca dying from orange juice. “I also don’t even own a suit.” Steve managed to get out between laughs, only making them both giggles more. 

“You go to a gallery monthly!” 

“Never one for me!” Steve snorted. “I’m not even sure if I’ll get my other pieces done on time.” Bucky finally took a breath and stopped laughing, falling back onto the bed instead. 

“You finally figured out what you’re painting?” Steve looked down on his with a soft smile on his face. 

“Paint what I love, right?” Bucky grinned, not fulling understanding what it meant. Whatever it was though, he knew it was going to be beautiful. Steve’s little sketches were enough to take his breath away, so a full-sized painting was probably going to be stunning. 

“How come you haven’t drawn me?” Bucky jokingly asked. Steve was always drawing photos of Clint and Nat or even just people walking by on the street outside. He said it was good practice to draw something that wasn’t stationary. He wanted to capture movement and all the energy that came with it. He never wanted to draw something that wasn’t active because it just didn’t feel as fluid. Steve sighed and slid off the bed, walking to the small bedside table and threw something lightly onto Bucky’s chest.   
It was a portfolio that was soft and leather-bound and held Steve’s spare notebooks. Bucky sat up in excitement and resisted the urge to open the notebooks as fast as he could. Steve rarely showed anyone his sketches, but Bucky wasn’t going to let his excitement get the best of him. He was going to treat the sketchbooks as delicately as he could. 

The first few sketches he saw were of some woman cleaning and cooking. She had deep laugh lines and bright blonde hair, and Bucky assumed this must have been Steve’s aunt. She was followed up by Natasha dancing and Clint joining in clumsily. Even in the little drawings he could see just how much their eyes lit up around each other. Sam, lounging on the couch with a water bottle balanced awkwardly on top of his knee. Becca and Ben twirling Amy around on a swing outside. And then there was Bucky. He was laughing at the wheel of a car. He was curled up on the corner of a couch watching a bad movie. He was cooking and ice skating and biting his lip as he thought. None of the drawings were very large except one. In soft pencil, Bucky was sleeping. Curled up on the very same bed they were sitting on now with his hair falling into his face. That was the piece that took his breath away. 

He’d never seen himself so peaceful before. Sure, there were photographs of him but he never liked any of them. This made him look rested and happy. He could see the soft scar on his nose from when he got hurt as a kid. He could see that his eyebrows were just a little scrunched up and he was hugging the pillow under his head. Bucky almost always hated the way he looked, but in Steve’s art work he was beautiful. 

“Is it creepy? I was praying it wouldn’t be creepy.” Steve whispered. He laughed, but when Bucky looked at him he could tell Steve was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? 

“It’s not creepy Steve. You made me look beautiful.” 

“I drew you how you look.” Steve laughed a little as Bucky scrunched up his face and looked back down at the drawing. He didn’t look like that. He always looked tired and a little angry at the world. Becca told him he had resting “go die” face. This person was not the same person that he saw when he looked in the mirror. “You always look like that to me.” Steve finished, causing Bucky’s eyes to snap back to him. 

“Really?” Bucky could almost feel his heart swelling in his chest. They’d already run from the family for a good half hour now and if they didn’t head out soon Bucky’s mom was going to complain but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that someone saw him as beautiful. It wasn’t the person that his family so desperately wanted him to marry, but it was someone that had put up with all his angry spouts and weird habits. It was someone who was always covered in paint and loved Greek food more than life itself. It was Steve Rogers, his boy next door. 

Steve barely nodded before Bucky set down the artbook on his lap. He moved it enough out of the way so that he could stand up, march over to Steve, and kiss him like he’d been wanting to for weeks now. Steve seemed taken by surprise when Bucky grabbed him, but both of them soon melted into it. This felt right. That was the only way Bucky could describe it. It wasn’t perfect, but it was right. Steve’s hands had landed awkwardly on Bucky’s arms, and Bucky had to push up on his toes because Steve was frankly too tall for his own good, but they worked well together. 

It felt like only seconds had passed by when Bucky finally pulled back, a little out of breath. He didn’t need a manual to get through that awful dinner party coming up. All he needed was the smile Steve gave him when he smiled down at Bucky and pulled him back in.

**Author's Note:**

> Spotify link for the story:  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/bgqpycyctiu4hbhbh1wkzb414/playlist/05Dtj2TLsTI5shTwDNva16?si=DabNOR6SSiqNArprQ5WaKw


End file.
